Dear MIMsters: My Heart Tells Me One Thing But My Head Says Another
Who should I listen to? My heart tells me one thing but my head says another.
I am a 25 year old lady who is in love with this guy. Next month will make it a year since we got together. He has been a very good and caring boyfriend.
However, the problem is we have different religions. So, we decided to keep it cool until we are ready to get married, then he can come and see my family.
I told my mother about it and she told me that she has no problem with his religion provided he is a good guy and loves me. Unfortunately, my older siblings found out about him through my phone. They called me to a meeting and told me to break up with him.
I told him about it and he got so worried and called my brother to talk to him but my brother was firm in his decision.
On one side, my family’s worry is about Lekan’s religion who allows men to marry as many wives as they want and that he might hurt me in future. On the other side, I worry because whenever we have a misunderstanding, this guy keeps reminding me that we are just in a relationship and he can quit at any time.
Now, my ex whom I dated for 4 years is back showing so much love and care. Let me tell you a little about my ex, Sunny.
Sunny and I had a misunderstanding and so we went our separate ways. I met him when I was 19 and we dated for 4 years. Our respective families got to know about us. At that time, he didn’t have a job so things were difficult but we went through together.
When we had a huge misunderstanding two years ago, we broke up. Now, he is back with a full time well paying job asking to share his success with me since I toiled with him during his hard times. The problem is the love I once had for him isn’t there anymore even though I feel very comfortable with him because I have known him for 6 years now.
Meanwhile this Lekan is not working. Sometimes, I have to support him financially even though we are all in school. Due to this threats, I am afraid he might leave me soon. He is also the womanising type who told me he stopped womanizing when he met me.
My mom, sister and friends are very happy that my ex, Sunny is back. I told him about my new relationship and he is also encouraging me to quit to avoid getting hurt in the future.
He is also willing to wait till I’m able to break up with my boyfriend but like I said I do not love him like I used to. My love is now with my new boyfriend. We have decided to keep it a secret.
Last month, Lekan had an encounter with his family about me. His family also doesn’t like my tribe and will never allow him to marry anyone from my tribe, especially his dad. Now, I don’t know whether to return to my ex and end the relationship with Lekan since it might not work. But I love him so much and afraid to let go.
Lekan already has a four-year-old child with another woman.
What don’t u know? That u love d guy doesn’t mean he won’t take more wives, it won’t make his family accept u, it won’t make him stop loving women. Abeg what is there to think? U are a Christian, enough said.
u are a big fool if u can’t quit d stupid relationship u are in and return to ur ex forget abt d fact DAT u love ur idiotic bf who reminds u DAT he can quit since u guys re just dating he is trying to tell u to leave but ur mumu love for him won’t let u leave abi? until u later get married to u and marry 2 wives when ur marriage would only be 6 months. okay na till den. don’t rush now and break up with d idiot and go back to d one DAT truly love u and appreciate u if u are with a man and u feel comfortable around him my dear he is ur husband
This Lekan guy from all angles is a bad news, there’s no good side at all. Please leave this guy alone, even if you ain’t gonna give Sunny a chance.
All those butterflies in your tommy suggesting you love Lekan more will automatically die down. You don’t have a future with him. All the traits of him marrying in addition to you are there. My sister, stick to your ex. You being comfortable with him is even a good sign for a great marriage. Which man will remember you after making it in life? God be with you.
my dear his religion allows him marry as many wives and he isalso a womanizer… recieve sense and walk away cos he would marry others after if he cn b threatenin u he would break up hmmmm.and his family dnt evn like ur tribe someday dey would have a strong influence on him he wd marry another wife same tribe and same religion.take a bow.
I am sorry to say, Lekan is not the man for you.
Pls stop your relationship with Lekan. I am also married to a Muslim and I would not advise you to do same. You’re going to face a lot of problems in the marriage, firstly you families will never accept your marriage, secondly your children will be raised as muslims, thirdly he will not feel secured in your marriage knowing he can take another wife, fourth you don’t share common beliefs and values, which will lead to so many problems.
I will advice you to go back to Sunny. I think he is a good guy for coming back to look for you when things are good for him.
Wishing you all the best
The writings are CLEAR. Take it from me as a married woman. It is not love alone that sustains marriage. Infact love becomes insignificant if not nurtured.
What you have with Lekan will not last, its a very very weak foundation. We dont know you but all the comments here are unananimous.
Stop wasting your time with this guy before its too late. Sunny wont wait forever..
Lekan wilk surely resume his womanizing. Its not a habit that one drops off so easily.
My dear, the heart is not always so smart.
Please go with Sunny.