Dear Mimsters: Does My Brother Deserve To Be Forgiven For This Despicable Act?

Hello Mimster, this is going to be a long post. I ask that you please be patient with me and
give me your advice on this. My brother has done something despicable.

I’m a young woman from a family of four, the last child. My siblings are much older than I, even though I’m married with 3 children.

It all started last 5 years ago when our oldest brother got married to a woman against our family’s advice and wishes. I happily welcomed her as my brother’s wife, unfortunately, they were unable to have children. Last year my brother made it known to me that he wanted to end the marriage. His reason was that they were not compatible anymore as they constantly seem to fight.

My brother has his weaknesses; he is a chronic womanizer.

Here is where I come in. My brother called me and told me that their present landlord had asked them to pack out of the house, so he would like his wife to come and stay with me for a period of one week. He told her that he would be putting finishing touches to a house he had begun to build.

Little did I know that he actually had his own plans. The particular house he showed his wife was a fake house. I didn’t know that he had rented a very clean three bedroom flat somewhere inside town and had moved all their properties, including the wedding gift bought for her by her parents and took with the N150,000 his wife gave him as support because she works and earn well. He took all these and moved in with another woman.

I didn’t know what was up until early this year when I started hearing rumors that he is breaking up with his wife. I called him and tried to reason with him, but I realized he had made up his mind. I advised him to go and meet his in-laws so that they can settle things peacefully. To my greatest surprise, he refused to adhere to my advice.

His wife opened up to me and told me about the loan she had taken from her workplace just to support her husband. She is now paying with her salary on a monthly basis. I was so mad at him. I called him to pay back the loan if he knows he is leaving his wife, but he shunned me.

He has now found a new love who has brain washed my mum. She constantly bribes my mum with a lot of gifts, making my mum fall in love with her. I called my mum and asked her to advise her son on how to go about his decision, but my brother told her that there was no need, as he would not want his wife to find out about this new love and sabotage them.

One fateful day, I called to tell him how wicked his act was. Then he called my husband and threatened to kill me if I don’t stay out of his matter. My husband sat me down and told me to not get involved anymore. He also managed to convince my other siblings, as they have already performed the traditional marriage with the other woman.

Now here is the real issue. My brother’s new wife has just given birth, and my mother is there for Omugwu. I have decided not to have anything to do with them, but my mother has been begging me to forgive and come see the little baby but I have refused. Even though I miss her a lot as I have not seen her for long.

I helped his first wife secure a place and she is moving on gradually. I always pray that the Lord will give her a reason to smile again. I visit her once in a while. My question now is, should I forgive them even though my annoyance is that he was not fair to his first wife? He threatened to kill me and pushed my loving mother into sin. I know he has brainwashed her.

I’m honestly confused and need I good advice on how to handle this issue.

My older siblings are also begging me to forgive, claiming that my elder brother is sorry, but he cannot apologize directly to me because he is older than me. His new wife is eager to meet me and they say she is very nice to my mum. How do I handle this?