Dear MIMsters: Please, Help Me Find the Father Of My Children To Take Up His Responsibilities

Please help me find the father of my children to take up his responsibilities.

Dear MIM, the Lord will bless you for the good work you are doing, as you are watering other people’s garden, I pray your garden will not wither.

I’m sorry to barge in on your personal time, but I have carried this problem for a long time and it is killing me softly. I really need help and advice.

When I was younger I dated this guy who asked me to marry him and I accepted. Not quite long after the proposal, I became pregnant. Immediately he got wind of my pregnancy, his attitude changed towards me.

Our daily routine became quarrels, fights and keeping malice. I managed to have the baby while my family kept pestering him to come and pay the
bride price. He kept postponing the wedding until I had two more children for him.

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Fifteen years on our life is a cat and Mouse chase. Despite all these, I keep enduring the whole thing, hoping things will get better. At a particular time, he started accusing me of witch craft, claiming that I’m behind all his problems. He went as far as saying that I am planning to kill him, so I should leave his house with my children.  I refused to leave because I could not cater for our three children on my own.

He then called my family and told them to come and take me away
from his house so that they would not come and carry my corpse. That was when I decided to leave, but he agreed to be paying their school fees and send money for their upkeep. He did that for a while, until he stopped suddenly. He changes addresses and whenever I call him, he does not pick.

I don’t know where to begin to look for him; he is even avoiding his family, because they are trying to settle the dispute between us. Surprisingly enough, nobody knows where he is, they can only get him on the phone. My major problem is this, every new session I send him text messages about the children’s school fees, he will not respond. I did the same thing this session and he replied this time. He asked me to stop disturbing him. He said that he has dashed my family and I all the children. He said that if he was not alive, would I not struggle to take care of my children?

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Honestly, I have been struggling to take care of these children all by myself. Trying to see them through secondary school has not been easy. I wanted to involve warfare or any organisation that can be of help, the major problem now is that I have not seen him in two years.

I don’t know where he stays. My friends have advised me to forget about him and face my children. They kept asking me if I would go to his grave to get him to come and take up his responsibility if he was truly dead.

I have put him in my past, but it’s getting tougher and tougher every day feeding alone is hard, my children went to bed last night without food.
Somebody gave me pap to make for them this morning, when they return I have nothing to give my children.

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I need a way out MIMsters, what can I do? We depend on my salary of ten thousand naira every month. Every day the thought of dying keeps coming to my mind. Please help me find a way out of this dilemma.

His name is Ouwaranmilowo Moses. He is From kogi state, and we both lived in Shagamu, then I left him in December 2012. I learnt he has relocated. I visited the new place on three different occasions, I didn’t see him. People told me he has moved to Porthacourt. I don’t know how true it is. He’s a physiotherapist.