Dear MIMsters: My Husband’s Mum Doesn’t Want Him To Pay My Dowry

Hello mimsters, please I need urgent advice on this issue as I am not sure what action to take.

I met my husband in 2014 and got pregnant a year later. My husband introduced his family to mine and my father received them. He prayed for my husband and gave his blessings.

Last year, my husband planned for us to settle down, so he wanted to come and pay my dowry but his mother was not in support of it. She said that her husband – my husband’s father – must be present because he was not in Nigeria.

Now, my husband wants to come and pay my dowry, and again she has refused, saying we must wait for her husband to come back. She said that if we do not wait for her husband to return, she would not accompany my husband for the dowry payment.

Her other son got married five months ago, and she did not ask him to wait for their father to return.

My father in-law has been away for over two years now and he’s not planning to come back soon, at least until he finishes his assignments abroad.

We did the court marriage last year, but I’m so confused right now. I plan on leaving the house until he’s ready to take a serious action.

I have seen people get married with someone standing in for their fathers in their absence, why should mine be different? Is it because she sees us every day and we leave in the same town?

Please don’t judge me, I need your advice.