Dear MIMsters: My Mother Is Blinded By Her So Called Husband and Is Not Thinking Straight

My mother is no longer thinking straight as she is blinded by the man she married.

I’m 25 and my mom is 41 years old. I have a sibling from another father who is 22. My mom wasn’t married but she had her career as a nurse and was financially stable. Even though she was happy, she always said a woman needs to be married.

Fast forward to 2014, she met a man from our country who lives in another country. They fell in love with each other and he sent his people to perform all traditional wedding rites.

Come January 2016, my mom decided to go and join him. I pleaded with her not to. Told her that she could visit him from time to time but not to go over permanently but my mom turned deaf ears to our pleas and left to join him.

A few months later, this man lost his job and started staying at home and would not take on menial jobs. He says he can’t go for menial jobs. My mom couldn’t get a job too so she resorted to using her savings from her account since her husband had no penny saved anywhere.

Things became rough for both of them so we told her to return but she refused. Most times, she will call me for money. I’m not working yet but I have savings because my dad takes care of all my needs and she knows I have money.

Things became so rough that she fell sick so and came home. When my mom walked in, she was unrecognizable. I wept. She recovered and we pled with her no to return but she left again.

She is back now and wants to sell our only piece of land saying she and her husband are in difficulties and need the money. We have pled with her not to but she still won’t listen.

My question is how can one choose hardship this way? Before she always traveled by air but now by road from one country to another and would be on the road for days.

Why choose someone who has been out of the country for 30 years and has nothing to show for it, not even a house? Someone who hasn’t seen his own children for 30 years and doesn’t feel bad about it.

Please, am I overreacting with my thoughts?

How can I make her to see reasons with me and not sell this land? How can I make her understand this man isn’t the best for her? I’m really confused and need your advices on how to handle this matter.