Dear MIMsters: Should I Say Yes or No To Hubby’s Relative?

Should I say no or yes to hubby’s relative?

My hubby’s much older cousin whom I’ve never met asked my husband to allow his newly wedded wife come stay with us here in Lagos for about three months, so she could attend a class where she will be learning a particular foreign language.

My hubby told him he can’t take the decision alone, that he would have to discuss it with me first. My hubby’s cousin is in Germany and is preparing for the new wife to come join him there, but the rest of his family resides in Benin.

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Now hubby is asking for my opinion, but I’m not comfortable with this. My reasons are: We don’t know and have never met this woman before. Sometime last year, he sent two of his children from his first wife plus his sister to come stay with us for about a week when they came for an interview here in Lagos in preparation for their trip to join him over there.

That wasn’t a problem for me as I received and welcomed them gladly. I made sure I took care of them. But now, I’m recalling several things that happened during their stay. He spoke with me on phone on one of the days he called them, thanking me and promised to make it up to me. But this same man sent some goods sometime in December last year and asked my hubby to sell them for him. He specified the prices which were much higher than their original prices. We verified.

My hubby took loads of Vegetable oil to his step Mum to sell them for him since she wasn’t doing anything at the time, while we focused on the other goods. We struggled to sell, because of his fixed high prices, but we made some sales. He instructed hubby to use the money to fix his car which and send the remainder to someone back in Benin.

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When he returned from Germany, he lodged in a hotel here in Lagos and called hubby to come give account of the sales made. After reconciling accounts, he gave hubby to 2k. Hubby felt insulted and declined. He returned with many phones but refused to give hubby one when hubby asked him.

All the whole time he lodged in the hotel, he didn’t come to see me. Rather, he went to the warehouse and cleared the remaining goods without giving my hubby any for me, even though it was Christmas. He left for Benin and later for Germany without a word.

This is same man who when hubby was trying to gain admission into the university, asked him for assistance, he being the blunt man that he is, told hubby that he can’t assist, and said, “so you want to go to school, so that you can graduate and start raising shoulders for me.”

I also recall when we were planning our wedding, and again hubby asked him for assistance, he gave so many excuses and said he doesn’t have a dime to assist him with. All this time he’s in Germany. Now. I’ve put all these together plus the fact hubby and I are not financially comfortable now. Half of hubby’s salary goes to our building project. Moreover, we live in a room and a parlour apartment and we’ve never met this woman.

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We don’t know who she is and if she is the type of person we can live with for 3 months. Hubby has given me 2 days to make my final decision and is ready to go with whatever I say. He also said if I say no, he’ll tell his cousin that I’m not comfortable with it and so, it won’t be possible. I’m a bit confused, I don’t want to make a mistake I will regret, so I need some advice.