Dear MIMsters: My Husband’s Huge Weakness Can Cripple Our Family But He Doesn’t Care

admin

How do I handle a husband who has a huge weakness that can cripple our family but doesn’t care?

My husband earns a little below a hundred thousand Naira but due to the nature of his job, he gets some extra cash on most days he goes to work. So, in a month he may end up having made up to three times his salary. Also, on very rare and lucky days, he may earn as much as his salary or even far above that in a day!

My worry is that apart from the monthly contribution he partakes in at his office which amounts to N500,000 yearly, (this I know is deducted from his salary), he has no other savings! His account can run as low as N30,000 to N15,000! He imports some items which he sells mostly on credit to his colleagues and friends, who all in-turn pay up little by little with some not even able to pay up! Aside from that, he is very free handed to families and friends plus he is the sole breadwinner of his family.

I’m someone who totally believes in saving, no matter how little I earn. After our wedding last year, which ran down his account to close to nothing, with house rent almost due and one or two other bills to pay, my hubby suggested we borrow from his office to be deducted from his salary.

Since I hate borrowing, I countered it and rather surprised him with N580,000, a personal savings I made from the little job I was doing before and during my NYSC. He was so happy and we opened a joint account with the money, joined with the little money that we realised from the money gifts from our wedding and the remaining money in his account. With these, we were able to pay our house rent and set up a little business for me.

Due to his spending habit, no matter how much my husband earns, he is never able to account for it. For example, late last year, he made a major breakthrough where he earned close to N900,000 from just one day’s assignment. We used about half of the money to get us a secondhand car and the rest, I can’t tell you what my husband did with it.

My husband just keeps dashing people, spending on irrelevant items and importing goods that he ends up selling on credit until his account is down to zero!

On my part, Since I opened my shop, I’ve tried saving up little by little but I have decided not to declare my savings again except in serious crisis. I still handle minor expenses in the home, though. There are many important things we lack at home. For example, in less than four months, we will be having our first baby by the grace of God. Not only that, our house rent will also due by then, yet I haven’t seen any conscious effort made by my husband to save up something for these forthcoming expenses.

Like I said earlier, the only saving he has is the monthly contribution at the office which is automatically deducted from his salary! Please tell me, how do I manage this weakness of his? Initially, I kept talking until I noticed it was causing conflict, so now, in order to avoid quarrels, I have been quiet.