Dear MIMsters: Even Though We Are Not Married Yet, He Wants To Run My Life
I need you all to tell me if I am right or wrong. Even though we are not married yet, my boyfriend wants to run my life.
I have this boyfriend who lives in Italy. I am based here at home in Africa and financially stable, and I take care of all my expenses. He has sent money only once to me after he left for Italy and that was because I was in the hospital.
He never intimates me with any of his daily activities but would always expect me to tell him where I went to, who I spoke with and who I called. He wants me to seek his opinion on everything I want to do, even if I go home to see my dad or visit friends. Ha! I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I fought it and he stopped.
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Recently, I had plans to bring my 16 year-old cousin to come live with me as I live all alone in a 2 bedroom flat. I told him of my plans and he said I was suppose to seek his opinion first. I reminded him of how he had traveled to France for Easter but only told me 2 hours to his flight. I asked him why he didn’t seek my opinion on that and by the way how does my cousin living with me in my own house affect him who lives in a country far away. Besides, I have the means of taking care of her so I see nothing wrong in my decision cause I only want the best for her. He got angry and told me to have a nice day. I replied, telling him to have a better day.
I thought it was just a misunderstanding but I have realized for some days now, he has stopped texting me, replying my texts and picking my calls.
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My question is was I really suppose to seek his opinion on this issue? I live my life without any contribution from him and the relationship isn’t even official yet. Meanwhile, he boasts, telling people that I am his girlfriend and wants us to get married when he returns home in 2020 to settle here.
Please, tell me, what are your thoughts?
And you truly think within yourself to continue this relationship?this control freak?that doesn’t respect your opinions,or the fact that you should know his plans? I hope it’s not the veil of ‘promise to Marry’ dt is covering ur eyes?
And to think you want to wait till year 2020 before you marry? Please be wise.
Please don’t tell me you are considering continuing this relationship?? This is a huge red flag there sister girl. Use this disagreement as opportunity to end the relationship quietly. That guy is toxic.