Dear MIMster: DNA Test Revealed My First Son Isn’t Mine But My Wife Is A Good Woman
My wife is a good woman but DNA test has revealed that the boy I thought was mine isn’t mine. I am devastated.
Moms and dads, I need your advice. I am a 34 years old man, married to a 32 years-old woman with two kids, both boys. My wife is a very lovely woman, and the best I can ever ask for.
We courted for about 2 years before we got married. About a month ago, I noticed my wife was getting withdrawn, talks less and was becoming a ghost of herself. I asked her over and over again what the problem was, and she finally told me.
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She said she thinks our first child is not mine and she has been carrying the burden around for 3 years. I was confused, I almost collapsed, as I didn’t believe what I was hearing. I left the house for a hotel to think about it and to calm my nerves.
After 3 days, I went back home and asked her what made her think so. She said she went to a birthday party some months after our wedding and got drunk. She didn’t know how she ended up in bed with a guy from her past who she met at the party. She said she begged the guy and told him it was a mistake that should never happen again, after which she cut off all communication. She said after arriving home the next day, we had sex and she got pregnant. So she is not sure who the rather is.
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I digested everything and decided to get a DNA test done. The results are back, and the boy is not mine. I don’t know what to do. My wife is very instrumental to my success and I love her very much, but I am confused. She is a mess at the moment. I have not discussed this with anyone. The child in question is a very lovely child, who I can’t afford to let go of. I also don’t want a broken home as I know the effects on children. My wife is begging for my forgiveness and she said she does not intend involving the other guy at all. What do I do please?
Hmmmm forgive your wife and keep d child may god give u d wisdom it’s well with u
Since she is a good woman(according to you),l think you should forgive her.You have to decide in your heart to forgive her and that means you won’t use it against her no matter what.You are a good man for not involving anyone in this.Please let it remain a secret between both of you
see gobe!!! Pls dn’t involve anybody only God, take the child as yours.
Forgive her please even though it’s very difficult to do. Atleast she realized her mistakes. Some women will never divulge this kinda secret to their husbands until the end of time.
I understand how you feel sir. There are some secrets that should be left untold. Please since your wife doesn’t want to involve the other guy. Accept her and her son and see them as part of you as if she had him before you even met her. Don’t tell your relative, your friend and family even hers and move on like nothing happen. Bible says love cover multitude of sin
Keep the child and pls forgive ur wife
Please forgive n let go just like she will forgive u n let go if it were to be u…. love he more, dnt carry hatred in ur heary cus u will end up killing urself slowly. Pray to God more as a family n never for once use it against her.
Sir please forgive her cus if u were de one that have a child outside mariage she too will forgive u
Thank God u cld her a good woman then accept everything about her
Speechless
I know the ladies here will say otherwise like let him forgive & accept the child,honestly if its me it won’t be easy,let truth be said I think she didn’t do it out of drunkenness,it was a consensual affair,if she felt remorse,she will have confide in the man immediately but she had to wait for 3yrs..you knw wat I think I think the man in question wants to take the child back or being blackmail so she decides to tell him….I think there’s a saying that a woman knows who got her pregnant….I sighted something funny here,after the man slept with her(state of drunkenness)she wasn’t remorse but she had to go immediately to sleep with the her husband(to cover up)honestly this her story is worth looking at critically that’s why I use to say “This Hoes aren’t Loyal”
My dear no matter what, d greatest tin required in dis situation is forgiveness n acceptance if he really need a happy home, she has made d mistake n hv ask 4 forgiveness n she hv to b forgiven, as 4 me d even made a mistake by going to do a DNA test bcos 4 me d child is mine n dats end it n even if d so called biological father knows abt it n com to claim d child I will make sure he rout in jail for sleeping with my wife n no Jupiter will force me check his DNA test.
And d pestles re loyal ba,so she shouldnt hav slept wth her husband wen he demanded for it abi?
If really she is a nice woman as the husband claims, then she should had refused her husband demands and use that medium to open up to him immediately. From your comment, are u in support of her infidelity because Pestles ain’t loyal ?
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Speechless
Love covers a multitude of sin.we sin against God and he forgives us when we confess our sins. Since she opened up and confessed..please accept her and forgive for she is not perfect..
Forgive her and take the child as yours.
Please sir for God sake, please forgive her. For a woman to her husband and tell about the past mistake even before you(husband) know, please sir she has thought of it deeply(deep blue sea) and had made up her mind that whatever comes out of telling you(my husband) the truth will her reward may it good or bad. Please sir forget about success sir but for you have pease at home is the best gift a wife can give to her husband. Think about the so called child, sir if you let boy get out of you roof, it will be hard for you to get over it because the child had become part of you and yours also and the future of the boy is in you hand sir. Please lets this issue be between you and your wife and the admine of this page and I they are trust worthy people. Lastly don’t these people will say send her and “basterd”( that’s what they will it) out of your roof but most of them are keeping vital secrets from their spouse. Please communication is very important in marriage. Sir may good God uphold your home and heal you wound sir. God bless you more.
She is truely nice for telling u d truth convincingly and soberly,please forgive her and carry on with ur happy family.not easy though as many questions wil keep flooding ur mind,but be courageous.
What more can i say better than what others has said. There must be a rough today for a better tomorrow but it depends the way both handle it. Two wrongs can never make right. Is like you are in your rough days in marriage but walk carefully to see the glorious and better tomorrow. The best thing in marriage is knowledge qnd thanks to God is there. Please dont manage your marriage because of this Sir. May THE LORD BE YOUR STRENGHT AMEN
Brother, thanks for appreciating your wife. God bless you.We all can’t be wrong. Pls move on. Don’t haunt her with this past. It really could have been anybody. Take the child as yours and you guys should just continue in love.
Well, advices are easier to give but let’s put ourselves in their shoes. It’s easy to forgive but to forget is quite a herculean task. My brother, see it as a cross you have to carry. Appreciate her more for even telling you. A lot of women would never say it out. Pray to God to give you the grace and strength to love her more.
May God continue to strengthen the bond between you both.
Very wonderful man.ypu are. I know you are going to forgive her and you continue to live in peace and love. God bless your home
Dear poster, since you Love ur wife so much please try and forgive her, I won’t tell you to FORGIVE and FORGET but if you can please do, and may God continue to strengthen u and protect ur household from evil eyes in Jesus Name Amen.
I read the caption and was shocked. but having read the content, I’m of the opinion that you should forgive her and keep the boy. I know you won’t feel attached to him as before, but try. how I wished it had come out the other way round
Though I know it’s not easy but wat would u do if u decide to chase her out and of what benefit will it be to the child also, you just have to let go and always make urself happy by not having any grudges against her and try to put yourself in her shoes cos if it wre u am sure she wil accept you openly
Pls, find a place in your heart to forgive her, truly she’s a good woman for opening up to u about this issue, which most women will likely not disclose to anyone, even at the point of death…..as u rightly said the child is a blessed child take him as yours
pls forgv her. she is a nice lady .
This is a very delicate situation. You need to forgive your wife. Be patient and talk to your pastor
It is not all pastors that you tell issues like this before it will be used to buttress a point during sermon.
This Kelechi guy talk sense sha. He is smart. I support his opinion. Why didn’t she say this after 1 month or even 1 year after d event . Of course you should forgive her but just be ready to let go when the dad comes asking.
These r d storms of ur marriage,,,u need 2 call on God 2help u overcome dis storm,u can’t do it on ur own,try and 4give ur wife,if u need time 2 get over it,take d time u need but don’t tell any familymemBer or friend.if u need 2 talk2someone,talk 2 a trusted man of God,he ll encourage u.its not easy 2 deal wiv dis situation by urself.its well.
Choi!! This is a hard one sir,but u have to forgive my dear.its not easy tho.but u can’t throw all her goodness away like that.u can take ur time to heal of the hurt n betrayal.i pray Lord Jesus to give u peace.cheers.
Pls forgive her cos if you truly love her just make it a past event and focus on the future with her.
It’s a tough one…you love her. Forgive.get counselling together .give yourself time to heal.
Hmmmm. Some comments are surprising me
Pls forgive ur wife and take that child as your own. She made that mistake even before marrying you. Continue to love her because she did not want to hide things from you. God will continue to bless your marriage
Forgiveness is a strong force and it is only the strong but humble that forgives. My brother, that is what you are. You will come out stronger. Your love will grow to another level. She will respect you all the days of your life. You are a good man. Your type is rare in this generation. God bless the works of your hands. Forgive and move on to higher ground in your marriage.
Please think about that Loving child, If he gets to know this, he will be demoralized for life. Please accept this as a test of fate, and hold on to your family. God will support you.
She is humble enough to tell you, forgive her and take the child as yours, if the biological father comes to claim you gail him for ever sleeping with your wife, God bless your home don’t loose your wife to any man the good once are hardly to find.
Forgive her and train the child in the way of lord because if he grow up and misbehave word will surely come out. like calling him bastard.
Pls sir as u mentioned early u said ur wife is a gud wife nd d child also is gud child, sir i urged u to forgive ur wife nd dnt let her past mistake to be count as charge over her anytime u remember it cus d kingdom of darkness is not happy seeing ur family as a happy dat is y he is fighting to destroy ur family but dnt let d devil to defeat u in dis battle once again sir pls forgive nd forget d past mistake of ur wife, dat is all i have to tell u tanx nd God bless u.
Sir, watever you are thinking to do is right. but think of these things b4 you take those action.
1. Your vows at the altar
2. Your family reputation
3. The child’s future
4. If it where to be you? Do you deserve her 4givness, in your weakness.
I’m aligning my view with that of kelechi because I see no remorse or sincerity in keeping it a secret for 3yrs.Sir please before you forgive her make sure she tells you the whole truth and do probe her more.I think that guy is threatening her,maybe she’s tired of the guy’s blackmail and wants to open up.In the final analysis plese kindly forgive when the whole truth must have been known
let her go, it is on dat condition d bible support divoce, many things will unfold with time, I also advice u to conferm d perternity of ur oda son.Women are very secretive.
Kelechi, u v a wicked heart. Ur kindof man will even kill ur wife if she ever cheats on u even when u r a chronic womanizer.
@Oma, so far so good, i have read every one’s comment,, Kelechi , Efe and Simeon have made good points. I’m not trying to say he shouldn’t forgive his wife, but I’m support of the notion raised my Kelechi, to first of all investigate further and do another DNA for the 2nd child. To you , it looks so simple and sympathetic to hear such story. But how will you feel if after some months u read that he other guy has been blackmailing her and threatening to open up to her husband, or maybe he is already asking and coming for his son, and she feels it’s better to open to her husband herself before the husband finds out from outside. Trust , me I know what women are capable of doing . I’m talking from my own experiences. This issue might be more than what you just read from her husband. Don’t be surprised the woman has been seeing the guy till date. I know a lot of people will also call me a heartless dude, but i will tell u more reality stories similar to this to buttress my points. I’m not saying he shouldn’t forgive his wife, but can he really forget , live with this fact forever and still be a happy man ? These questions dat comes to the mind. Trust me this man will never be a happy man all his life even in as much as he tries to find happiness with his wife and put everything aside , he still won’t be happy
Well, it will be better the husband investigate deeply whether the other guy is blackmailing the woman. If she said she has been hiding the issue for 3 years it’s a sign of pretence and if she had confessed earlier it would have been resolved. To keep this secret for 3 years there could be more. Being nice might be her way of covering up. The Bible says test the spirit. Being nice have its own farm side.
kelechi y r u so wicked lyk dis upon all d cometh u av being reading since.pls dnt mind wot Kelechi is saying o hold on to ur wife nd pls forgive her cos nobody above mistake it is her today it may be u tomorrow so pls even for d sake of d child dats involved if he get to no it may distabilize him in d future love cover multiple of since God bles ur home
WHAT’S A GOOD WIFE DOING IN A CLUB/PARTY, IN D ABSENCE OF HER HUSBAND? False perception. What’s good about a wife who does nt kno her limit in alcohol or who has gone wild and lost inhibition and got drunk to intoxication? And what’s indispensable about a bastard? Well, it depends on ur priorities and ur expectations of ur wife. If her income and her dexterities are more highly priced (by u) dan her faithfulness and ur safety (due to possibility of contracting veneral diseases from extramarital affairs), u can tolerate it. I assure u, dat infidelity wil keep recurring as she attends clubs and as she drinks. Am nt against forgiveness though. But man, pls correct ur perception, ur perception of a good wife is distorted.
A lot of these men form to be a saints. The likes of Mr Kelechi and Dr J.A. Now it’s d woman’s turn, u turn it around. If it was d other way, without being sober, u will expect that the woman should forgive. I suppose you both didn’t read d msg well cos you are criticising her for keeping it that long. She wasn’t even sure of it till d DNA confirmed it. Yes she made a mistake keeping it from her husband she slept with someone but I suppose u think it is as easy as said. Mr, don’t mind them, they will only break ur home with their criticisms, I am sure they r worse with their women if they even have one. The majority said it all, Love ur wife more, talk to nobody about it not even ur pastor just ask God for Grace to help through. God will keep ur home
Dr. JA you are right . You made some good points. A lot of people commenting would have since turn the woman into a punching bag the moment they find out. @Dee the message was well read and understood. It’s u who doesn’t understand the message. But i copied it for you to read again and understand properly before giving your own advice to him . He said :
“We courted for about 2 years before we got married. About a month ago, I noticed my wife was getting withdrawn, talks less and was becoming a ghost of herself. I asked her over and over again what the problem was, and she finally told me.
She said she thinks our first child is not mine and she has been carrying the burden around for 3 years. I was confused, I almost collapsed, as I didn’t believe what I was hearing. I left the house for a hotel to think about it and to calm my nerves.
We adopt children everyday, so why not take him as an adopted child. If she didn’t tell you it would have remained hidden forever, for opening up after such a long time, she is indeed a rear one. Run your family as if the fact itself was just an imagination, so burn the DNA result. Good luck.
If it were the other way round you would have called for the man’s head
Dr JA has spoken well. For how long will you be seeing a bastard and be OK.The best bet s to let your wife hand over the bastard to his father.because the right father will cone and claim him when you ve spent all your earning on that child.At that point you will hate yourself.forgive her and send the child to his father and go on with your life.point of crrecton. your wife is not good at all.she could have aborted the pregnancy bat the first instance.Don’t trust any woman
.I am a woman..bye
Pls, forgive her n continue guiding her against her weakness, don’t let the other guy involve, father d child n u guys shall live happily ever after .
Forgive her,and ask God the wisdom to deal with d situation, it wasn’t her intentions and she is sorry for dat, God will help u.
Like seriously bro, you need to let it go. b4 anytin guys you need to learn from this. B4 you and your partner get involve in marriage tin, get tin right. Every li2 wrong step you guys av bin taking in you need to let it go, why, bcos no 1 is perfect when it comes to past issue, so if you don’t move away you might find yourself involving in trash-can. guy pls with due respect call her during the midnight and let her know THE STORM IS OVER…. in order to enjoy more of her. peace
Hmmmm,smart lady she must have involved the child biological father maybe he’s not interested anyway forgive her and send her away remember its take a whole life time to know someone,u haven’t know her yet she’s just a pretender,better send her out before they both plans to kill you
keep your marriage, keep your home. Forgive your wife since she is a good woman and has repented. Move as if nothing happened. Lov d boy nd ur wife even more now.
Return the child to the real father, forgive your wife and have more children with her. It is not easy to live with deceit. Blood is thicker than water. The boy will surely know when he grows up.
please forgive your wife and live your life. not easy though but seems wise
To Hell is human but to 4give is divine, d mistake has already bin made, one thing 4 sure I knw it won’t be easy but like u said ur wife is part of ur success and the child in question is a lovely child and u can’t let go of him so pls 4give and 4get and more on wit ur marriage and pretend anything ever happened.
It is a big sore in the heart. Being human, things like this is better not known than know, because not matter how, it will continue recurring in the man’s mind, most especially if any slight misunderstanding comes in. I pray that the man has the courage/will to ‘remove’ it from his mind.
Pls let go the grieve…pls dont ever let her out of the house for any so called party again….cos only God knows how many times she has truly slept with other men…she only told u this cos she ended up pregnant ….and lastly, pls discipline her….dont break ur marriage
wow, funny and different opinions. My opinion is that forgiveness is necessary as every successful marriage at one point or the other requires compromise. Again, i deeply think the woman did not tell her husband the whole truth. I don`t believe she ended up in bed with an ex because she was drunk at a party, that was a make-up story to reduce the tension that would come up.
Secondly, if she had not gotten pregnant, she would not have opened up to the husband.
Thirdly, i don`t believe it was a one-time thing after she got married to this man, though like the husband said, she is a good wife.
Though i believe everybody deserves a second chance but the man needs to probes a bit further, get the whole truth so as to prevent what led to that event in the future.
Forgiveness is paramount in life, as a christian. But dat doesn’t mean we should cover some certain truths. People are just commenting as they feel. Put urself in his shoes, unless u are a fornicator or adulterer, then u won’t treat this issue well. God hates putting away nor divorce, no matter what ur partner does. But to keep someone else child as urs and telling people he is urs will take u to hell. Lie is lie and liars will go to hell. Love covers multitude of sin as d bible says didn’t say love makes u to lie. U must pray, seek Gods face abt the issue, ask ur wife if thats is how it all happened, then restitute and give back the child to the rightful owner, forgive ur wife and pray for Gods grace to do so. Leave the shame or persecution u might encounter and do things right. If u handle it wit all dis multitude’s comment, and tomorrow u discover ur wife was nt telling d truth, or more trouble emmerges, u will die psychologically and be a walking dead or even commit suicide. God help you.
#MyOppinion
I know it’s a tough decision to make, but all I have to tell you is that you should forgive her and move, tell her to promise you that she will not involve anyone in this matter, especially that guy, he must never find out that the boy is his son. And plus if you know that you can’t let go, I mean if you know that you will always insult her with this issue , kindly send her packing now,bcos otherwise that will kill her
pls forgive her and love her the more,take the child like your own and don’t ever use it against her when you guys are having any argument
Mr. Poster, my candid advice to you is this and hope you meditate and look into it seriously. If you love your wife as claimed and can overlook her shortcomings why don’t you erased and forget about the DNA test and result, you said the boy is lovable and you don’t know if the boy is going to be the pillar that will hold your family in the future or the one you look up to in your old age. Forgive your wife wholeheartedly and show it and never go back to the issue, help her to outgrow her guilty and proceed in life. May God bless you as you take your steps wise solution on this