How To Cultivate Your Child’s Independence

Ogbugoh Terundu Joy

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” Denis Waitley

The ability for your child to be able to perform tasks on her own is beneficial to his growth as a person and to the building of his or her character. You want your child to be able to stand on his feet when you’re not there to help him, you want him to be able to figure things out and not become helpless in dire situations.

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Here’s how to cultivate that spirit of independence right from a young age:

1. Assign Chores. It’s the best way to learn. Assign age appropriate chores around the house. This will not only foster independence but will also give them a sense of responsibility and an appreciation for where they live.

You can make a to-do list and paste it on the wall or board to guide your child. Some children do like the independence of doing chores themselves and you will be setting them up for future successes.

2. Get them Involved: Invite them to join you in decision making processes in your home and also to join you when cooking, doing the laundry or cleaning the house. Do not alienate them from your day to day tasks, rather involve them.

3. Let Them Make Their Mistakes:  You probably don’t want the eggs broken, the counter stained nor patches of dirt on the tiles, but these mistakes are what would mature into perfection someday, so let her mess up, it’s only the beginning, she will get better in time.

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4. Compliment Them: Accolades are important for your child’s self esteem. When you compliment and tell them that they are doing a great job, it boosts their morales and confidence. So keep those praises coming in. Forget perfection, it’s the efforts that counts.

5. Leave Them To Fix Their Mess: When they mess up, don’t rush in to help out just yet. Stand by and observe, ask him if he can think of a way to fix it and give him time to figure out ideas and try several before giving your input.

6. Words Of Encouragement: Children believe their parents most of the time. Tell them they are strong and can climb a mountain high and they would believe that they can. So fill them up with words of assurance, positive affirmation and they will believe that they can.

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7. Allow Them Solve Their Problems Without Meddling: While it is very tempting to step in and yank the ear of the boy who just hit your kid, it would be a better option to step back and let him stand up for himself. Let him face his own fears. You just encourage him to always stand up for himself.