A primary duty of parents in the training of their child is the establishment of authority over him-basically inculcating in him values that will shape him by valid reason of your parenthood and experience to guide and mould him into an exceptional human.
Sadly, many parents are failing to see that this is an obligation, one that must be delivered with love and compassion. But even more parents mistake the performance of this obligation to mean stifling the voice of their child or even meting out physical harm. Both scenarios are extremes and finding the balance is what is encouraged.
Why Should You Be An Assertive Parent?
If you love your child, you should have rules that help them to stay balanced. Asserting your authority over them is essential to help them grow within a structure and prepare them for a bigger world outside of your home.
Refusing to discipline your child could also mean that you are not deliberate about what type of adults they become or how much value you are adding to them.
How To Establish Parental Authority
Establishing order around the home basically means determining what activities your child will engage in and how your child will fill his or her time.
If you are the one in charge, it will mean being available physically and mentally to provide appropriate monitoring and supervision for your child. If others are in charge, it will mean ensuring the competency of these other people.
2. Develop A Routine
Setting up consistent and predictable set of actions that your child adapts to with time, children learn many things from routines including time management , organisational skills and the use of regular, predictable methods to run efficiently.
Important daily routines include morning, mealtime, siesta and bedtime routines
In this part of the world, the notion of discipline is completely different and may be considered unacceptable in other parts of the world. Corporal punishment is a tool employed by many parents in Nigeria and in fact many children are victims of mouth-gaping physical injury in discipline’s name.
However, that is extreme, even if light spanking here and there will never go out of style with many African Parents. Still, more effective strategies to help your child cultivate appropriate behaviours include:
- Establish specific family rules: “Never hit your sister” as opposed to “don’t fight your sister”
- Use rewards to encourage good behaviour: An extra 15 minutes of TV, for example
- Use consequences to limit undesirable behaviour: Example, “You will not be watching any TV tonight, you are grounded.”
4. Have A Discussion
Although you are the parent, you should have a discussion with your child about rules and consequences. Be brief and limit your talking to stating the rule and consequence only at the time of the inappropriate behavior. Lengthy debates, explanations and arguments should be avoided at this time.
5. Manner Of Authority
The more gentle the manner and the more kind and courteous the tones in which the parent’s wishes are expressed, the better, provided that the wishes however expressed are really in line with establishing authority. Your assertion of authority over your child should serve more to guide than to intimidate.