Dear MIMSters: SIL Is Overstepping Her Boundaries And It Is Sickening

I am married to a man who is still tied to his sister’s apron strings. Maybe it wouldn’t have been this painful if the said sister was older than him, I mean, in a family of 3 boys and one girl- the girl being in the third position dictates to all her brothers. None of them would take any step if she has not approved. It is sickening, believe me.

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My husband is the first child of the family and on many occasions, I have asked him why his sister must have the final say over the affairs in my own home. I keep asking him if he goes to her own husband’s house to tell her what to do. If you ask my hubby for anything, he would say, “Let me check with Mercy.”

Mercy is married but still runs the affairs of her father’s house. She decides when her brothers should come with their family members to visit their aged parents. She determines how much each of them should contribute for the upkeep of their father’s house, on a monthly basis. They all would pay into her account and she would do as she pleases with it.

If I told you all that Mercy determines in her father’s house and her brothers’ families, you would leave your mouths hanging.

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There was a time I called the other wives and asked them if they experience same with their husbands, I was shocked when they told me they do, as a matter of fact, theirs are pathetic.

For example, the wife of the 4th son (Mercy’s immediate younger brother) told me how Mercy changed what she wanted to wear for her baby’s christening. She said Mercy told her husband that the colour she chose was awful. The next thing her husband did was to give Mercy some money to buy a ‘better’ outfit for them to wear. Clara (that’s her name) said she wanted to make trouble but MIL asked her to obey if she wants to find favour with her husband. Even MIL doesn’t go against whatever Mercy tells FIL and her brothers to do. If she misbehaves, Mercy could turn their backs against her in no time.

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The wife of the 2nd son, Lizzy was going to start a business. She chose the name she wanted and shared with her husband. They guy said it was a good name and she started to process it with CAC. Only for her husband to return home the next day to tell her that the name wasn’t suitable any more. He said Mercy visited him at work and while they were gisting, he mentioned it to her and she said the name sounded childish. She also spoke against the logo design for the business and since then, Lizzy has been stuck. “Oya, husband, give me another name na”, the guy said she should give him some time soon. Obviously, ‘almighty’ Mercy has not found a more suitable name yet.

My 2nd daughter is about to enter secondary school and while I am telling hubby I wouldn’t want her to go into boarding house like her elder sister, hubby says she has to. “Why?”, I asked. “Mercy said it’s better.”

Mercy again? Abeg, how do I put Mercy in her place once and for all?