A few days ago, Ex-BBNaija housemate, Alex Asogwa spoke on the topic #StopThatBully at an event, so, she asked her followers to share their experiences of bullying and the comments that followed revealed that bullies can be our families, friends, colleagues, spouses and even our bosses.
Unfortunately, many bullies may not be aware of the damage they cause to their victims because the experiences are not one that is easily forgotten.
Below are responses from some women…
As an adult, a wife, a mother and everything you can put me as, I was being bullied by another older adult, in her 50s, in my church and mind you, it’s not in Nigeria.
She is generally a bully but she singled me out because of my soft nature. It’s been going on for years but this January, I made a resolution to stand up to her any time such happen again and so on March 3rd, she did it again and I screamed at the top of my voice “Stop bullying me” You can imagine.
She didn’t take it lightly and she had many names to call me but at least for the very first time, I stood up to her. Bullying is not only amongst children, it’s among the adults too, women especially.
I was bullied too n’ always fought it off. I was lucky ‘cos it wasn’t a boarding school. Even with the bullying at day school, I vowed to never let any of my kids out to boarding school till they are 18 and can defend themselves.
I was bullied in primary school. I can’t forget that experience. Our sitting arrangement was round table,Three to four children to a round table. One of girls whose sit was beside me always comes to school with office pin. While the class will be on she will be pinching me with the pin.
Sometimes she uses broom stick or pen. I was miserable. I couldn’t report to the teacher because I was so afraid of her. I dreaded going to school. Always crying in the morning. Nobody knew what I was going through.
Till one day she pinched me so hard, I had to shout and cry out loud. The cry no be here. The teacher intervened and I had to summon courage to report her. Of course she couldn’t deny it. She was also a child but I wonder where she got that character from.
Growing up, I was quite on the plus size. I still am though, let’s say I was bigger than my classmates but people talked about my size, laughed at my back & all, I didn’t have much friends. I have always been a lone ranger, but nobody ever dared or tried in their entire life to bully me physically, like are you trying to die? I was a fighter always been.
The bullying continued in high school, everyone taunted my body & bum @ the time that I had flat ass, well story has changed now, but mahn if you mess with me, I wouldn’t hesitate to beat you up at least everyone knew that ???? and I make sure I tear you apart before I let go.
I hated people who bullied other people, like it disgusts me, I don’t mind fighting you on behalf of the weaker person, some of my friends & cousins know this so they always call me for backup every time ????????????????…… I’ll never forget the end of Year 1 in Bowen, the biggest & one of the tallest bullies in our hostel was my roommate.
Babe was so arrogant, insolent & rude to everyone, she would offend people & still beat them up when she realises she has the upper hand…..guess who humbled & challenged the mad dog- ME! And I threatened her in a way she never expected with a fanta 50cl bottle & a travel iron ???????? (I’m from Niger-Delta, if I say I’m gonna fvck you up I don’t go back on my words) we no dey fear fight o mehn they called Matron, Porter & everybody for me that day, meanwhile our height difference wasn’t a joke, she was waaaaay taller, but seeing a short girl like me challenge you, you’ll think twice ????????. Well, safe to say Aunty stopped bullying people!
I got into sec school at 7+ from primary 3, so I was in JSS1 with people who were my senior in Primary school. They all made me feel I didn’t deserve where I was and they hated me. I didn’t know it was bullying then, but now I know. Thanks to my mum who told me, “if anyone tells you A, say ABCD.
Right from kindergarten, I was always the smallest in the class, and I was bullied a lot for being small, for talking a lot, for my gap teeth (I hated it a lot and barely smiled), my forehead, for not having a particular game or toy, for having full lips, for liking someone, for not knowing something.
It was really hard and I only had friends on my birthday. Every other day, I was alone. It affected my school performance and my personality. I resented them for a long time. Thank God I’m okay now (I think).
I see these bullies on the streets of social media and I sometimes wonder if they realize the impact they had in my life. I still remember all their names and surnames along with the teachers that stood up for me.
I was bullied in secondary school because I had yam legs (still have dem though), boys in my class used to call me “yam rust.” I could hardly wear short dresses but it only taught me to love myself and I have gotten over it.
I was bullied by my roommate and her friends during my days in school. They mocked the hell out of me, called me all sorts of names, I became scared. I stopped walking with them and always stayed late in school just for me not to see them. But one day, I took a bold step and challenged them and that’s how it all ended.
I was bullied when I was in Secondary school because of my glasses and was named 4eyed. Some students even tried to remove my glasses from my eyes claiming I think I am better than them,I remembered crying always. One day I broke my glasses because I couldn’t bear it anymore.
Bullying is really bad and draining. I was a victim of it in my primary school. l was so scared of going to school every morning. Not until my mum talked me out of it. The particular student was expelled from school.
I was bullied in secondary school by Chinedu and Nonso Chukwujekwu who called me “willow” because I was petite.I just felt they hated me.It didn’t have any effect on me though because looking back and seeing them now on social media, they didn’t grow any taller.
I was bulled in secondary school because I was a very fat kid. Some will be calling me fat pig, some will be singing anytime they see me coming. I will be crying every time I remember I will be going to class.
One day I decided to pack my things from school and run to the house. I was telling my mum to calculate everything that she has spent on me that when I get married I will pay her back, because I’m not going back to that school again..the experience was not a good one at all.
When I was a kid, I was bullied by my senior. She always beat me up after closing from school. The fear of going to school became unbearable and I couldn’t tell my parents because I thought she’ll beat me again. But one day I gathered the courage and confronted her. I gave her the beating of her life. Please don’t let bullies get ahead of you. Defend yourself.
I have been bullied by my bosses, and there was this day that I wanted to quit my job.. but as soon as I took my phone and open my Instagram, the first post I saw was from you and it was very motivating, I got it just the time I needed it. It helped me regained myself.
When I was in primary and Secondary school, people always laughed at me whenever I spoke because they said I had a very tiny voice. It made me to stop answering questions in class to avoid being laughed at.
One day, my teacher asked a question in class, nobody was able to answer it, I knew the correct answer but I couldn’t get up to answer it until my teacher noticed I was fighting something within and had to call me up to answer the question.
I told her they would laugh at me because of my voice. She told me something I will never forget, “…you are the girl with the golden voice, your voice is rare, just like the nightingale”. That day, I found my voice. Today, I am a public speaker and a trainer. Do not let anyone bully you to the point that you lose your voice. Speak up, let your voice be heard.
I was bullied to the point of suicide by the words that came out of the mouths of those that should have cared. I was bullied in school and at home. It made me build walls and hide in books.
Today, my students know that I despise bullying and I don’t joke with it. They report these cases and I take action ASAP. Bullying isn’t always physical- the emotional is the most damaging.
My bestie told me she was called Dracula in primary-secondary because of her dention, that almost damaged her self esteem and social life! She fixed her dention in the university but she carried the hurt throughout her formative years.
Bullying even happens at your place of work not just school. Me that thought I had sharp mouth and couldn’t be bullied …. I remember mine clearly, just before I finally decided to face my ‘talent’ and turned it to a business. My bosses ‘females’ didn’t like each other so I was in the middle of a crossfire. You feel you don’t have to defend yourself because she could get you fired if you talk back.
Till I landed in the hospital for nervous breakdown! Oh boy I was MAD! I went to work the next day with jeans and spaghetti top and spilled my mind like Chrisbrown’s lyrics to everyone that ever tried to bully me in the office because I was a junior… I was done! Told them to keep their job…. well I wasn’t fired after that episode, I quit the job myself. Oh that joy! I remember telling my family then ‘Now I want to sell food’.
Bullying is normal in Nigeria. You first get bullied by your parents and then society.
I can’t even remember any incident of being bullied in secondary school even though I was bullied soooooooo many times because I was always the tiniest. Even juniors would try to disrespect you (if that’s not bullying I don’t know what is????).
All that shit is easy to let go because we were still young. And probably I never had a nerve racking bully experience. But you see the ones I can’t seem to get over, are the ones that happen in university.
Mostly emotional bullying than physical. The type where the more vocal people talk down on and make fun of the shy ones or less vocal ones or the not so fashionable ones, the not so posh ones, the not so financially buoyant ones, etc. The kind of bullying that make people make terrible life choices in order to belong, you see that one, I can’t seem to get over it. I thank God for home training and self training.
@alex_unusual This is such a good cause. Thank you for standing up against bullying & bullies just like we do.