Dear MIMsters: I Never Saw The Signs Until This Happened

I was married in 2018. I don’t think I have ever loved another man the way I love my husband but what did I gain? Pains and tears. I never saw the signs until we got married and started living together.

My husband would not allow me to come close to him and sit on him as every normal couple does. He has kissed me just thrice since we got married. He doesn’t do romance. He just does his business and goes. He only provides for the house and but everything else, I have to almost sort my self out.

I was doing one job whilst helping myself out and playing the role of a wife.

My husband can get angry for a little household mistake I made and would keep malice with me for days to weeks even as I keep apologizing. There is no affection nor love.

After a year of marriage, he started getting angry because I didn’t pregnant. I went for tests and was certified okay. He refused to go until after some months and it was discovered that he had low motility and sperm count which can be termed as infertile due to underlying issues.

I supported him and spent a lot buying drugs for him. He rejected some until when I reported to my people and they talked to him. I also started taking some drugs to boost my ovulation because I was anxious but it started changing my hormones. The last time my hubby managed to go for a test after I have cried a lot.

The result showed a bit of improvement but was still low. I supported him. Even though he has a good business and a good income, he doesn’t care to treat himself. But with the little I made, I have been buying drugs worth thousands for him.

I didn’t even take care of myself because I only wanted God to answer us. Despite all these, I was being treated like thrash. My hubby is so secretive to me, such that he sleeps with his phone and changes his passwords. He has uncountable female friends.

He comes back home with food anytime we have a problem and would eat it all in my presence. There is no week we won’t quarrel, even when I vow that I won’t talk, he will find a reason to get angry with me. Every day, I lived in fear.

He tells me that as a woman, I have to be spiritually strong and prayerful even when he makes mistakes. I find this very confusing. This whole emotional and verbal abuse started giving me health issues. He always threatens to throw my things out at any little slight argument. He has called my parents a number of times to tell them that it is over. I will apologize and stay back even when the fault isn’t totally mine.

I was filled up with rage and started reacting because everything has brought pains and anxiety to me. I started to question my sanity and started getting depressed.

During our last argument, I was so frustrated and began to react because my head was filled up. He called my parents again and told them that I must leave. My dad told me to come back home because the calling and the threats were too many. He said when I come home, I should not return to him until he turns a new leaf and if he wants to come and collect his bride price, he is welcome to.

Since my husband has sent me packing back to my parents’ he hasn’t made any attempt to call me nor come to see me. Rather, he went to on his Facebook page to delete all our wedding photos, made some posts to mock me, and says that he is living his life best life.

I am in pain but I have decided to embrace whatever he chooses to do. I am just 29 years old. I believe that he never loved me and I never saw signs until after we got married.

I don’t need anyone to curse him nor me out, what I want is for you to please advise me sincerely on what to do.