Dear MIMsters: How Can I Get My Husband To Start Doing These Basic Things?

I am 31 and my husband is 39. We’ve been married for 6 years. How do I get my husband to start doing these basic things?

My husband is not hygienic at all and this is causing a lot of problems between us. He has a strong body and mouth odour and to make matters worse, he finds it difficult to take his bath and to brush his teeth regularly.

He goes out in the morning to his business place without taking a shower. He might even come back in the evening and want to sleep like that without still taking a shower. When I complain, he will say none of his previous girlfriends have ever complained about anything.

If I boil water and keep for him, if he’s not willing, he will not take his bath. Even if I say no sex until he bathes, he will rather sleep in his room or on the floor just to avoid taking his bath. He is improving a bit but bathing to go out in the morning is still not happening.

As for the mouth odour, I will buy a mouth wash for him and he will end up wasting part of it because he will not finish using it. The biggest problem with him is his refusal to flush the toilet well after use. If he flushes once and it’s not flushed properly, he will leave everything like that and expect me to help him.

I have shown my displeasure from day one but he still does it regularly. This has been the cause of almost 80% of our quarrels in the marriage.

Washing his hands after using the toilet is a big problem. All these have turned me into a monitoring spirit in my home because I have young children and I’m trying to train them well. I have to monitor both the toilet and his hands after using the toilet to remind him to go back and do the needful before the kids copy him.

These bad habits of his are affecting our marriage negatively. I am no longer attracted to him. His touch does not move me at all. The mental image I have of him in my head is that of a dirty person and this affects our sex life. I can’t just go to him for sex anytime because he might be in a dirty state, so when I’m horny, I just keep to myself. We don’t even kiss. There are so many things I can’t write here.

I need help. What can I do to make him change permanently for good. I’m tired of talking, either peacefully or other wise. What can I do for him to take his personal hygiene seriously?

Men please, what must a woman do for you to be neat or what does it take for you to be neat? I need solutions as long as it does not include me flushing the toilet after him because I am not willing to and I will never accept doing it after him.

I have told him to look for a house boy who will be flushing the toilet after him since he cannot do it by himself.

P. S: Recently, he jokingly said that flushing of toilet is part of the house chores and I told him that he should never ever dream of that happening.

Also, during courtship, we always met in church after work for like 1-2 hours. So, I didn’t know he was like this. When you see him in church on Sundays, he is always in a suit, one would think that he is a bank manager and that I’m lying, but at home is a different story.

I’m waiting patiently for your suggestions. Men, please also comment because I really want to hear from you. Thank you.