‘I’d rather be by myself than to keep making the same mistakes’ -Mary J. Blige On Her Messy Divorce And Mental Health
American singer-songwriter, actress, and philanthropist, Mary J. Blige has opened up about mental health during the holidays.
On the latest episode of Taraji P. Henson’s Facebook Watch show Peace of Mind, the 49-year-old diva also talked about her divorce, which played out before the public for two years.
In 2018, the 49-year-old actress and singer was ordered to pay ex Marc “Kendu” Issacs $30,000 in temporary spousal support and over $200,000 in attorneys fees after 10 years of marriage.
During her interview with Henson, Blige admitted that as a single woman, the holidays have been hard, but she’s determined to push through.
The musician also admitted she sometimes gets lonely and sad but she is determined to hold on till the right man comes along.
“It gets lonely and it gets sad,” she explained, “but you know hey, I just gotta thug this out until something excellent comes along, which I don’t know when that’s gonna happen.
I’d rather be by myself than to keep making the same mistakes over and over again, so I’m gonna be patient and sift through this thing and love on me right now. But I’m not gonna deprive myself of living either you know, I’m not gonna deprive myself of romance if ever it shows up.”
When it comes to mental health, Blige urged someone going through a tough time not to keep things private.
She explained that she has been dealing with issues related to mental health since she was a child, which inspired some of her music, particularly her 1993 album, My Life. She shared:
“I wrote those songs as a cry for help, that I needed help, I was going through hell. People responded. So that was my answer right there that OK, I have to speak. I don’t think we’re given these platforms as artists to just sit on it and be selfish.”
The Power Book II: Ghost star added that on her worst days, she loses control of her negative thoughts, which she dubbed “stinkin’ thinkin’.”
“The negative thought life creates a bad day because if you don’t get a hold to what you thinkin’, everything you do is gonna be what you thinkin’,”
she told Henson.
“So, every single day, every second of the day, we are fighting our thought, but I’m gonna try my hardest to not lie to myself about anything because when we lie to ourselves that’s a form of insanity. You just can’t do it … you’ve gotta teach that other side that you can’t win.”
Blige went on to share her “number one tool” for mental health which is:
“Appreciate what you have and leave the rest on God to give you what you need. You know the peace of mind is what you need.”