Dear MIMsters: At What Point Should I Leave My Very Unhappy Marriage?
At what point should I divorce my husband and leave this very unhappy marriage?
Last week, my husband came back home late at about 12 am. This woke my baby up so he had to play with her. Whilst playing with her, he said to me, “you’re very lazy.”
At first, I thought he was joking. When I was cooking, I also had to attend to my baby’s needs at the same time, so I got tired and did not clean up the kitchen. So he kept on repeating that I am lazy and saying other hurtful things. We had no previous issues.
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The insult was too much that I had to ask if he was serious and he said yes. He continued. I got angry and asked him, “if you were so perfect, why did your first wife leave you after one year of marriage?”
He started calling me names like, olosho, murderer. These words sunk into my head and hurt me deeply.
I am currently battling an infection because he cheated on me and I got infected with an STD that stopped my period. I had a test and scan and took the results to his sister’s Doctor worst (mistake ever). The doctor told his sister that if I don’t get treatment now, which I am yet to do, I may never be able to get pregnant again. I didn’t get an apology or money to commence my treatment, instead, he said I. got it from toilet.
Why I said it was a mistake to have sent the result to the sister’s doctor is because his sister sent the analysis of the result of my test to her brother, instead of to me. Her brother, my husband did not tell me about it. I found out by checking his phone.
Previously, he pushed me when I was six months pregnant and I fell. I fell and I hit my waist on the hard tiles in our bathroom. He pushed me for unknowingly breaking the news of his aunt’s daughter demise to her.
I told his family and they asked me to apologize to him. That same period, he he called me a dog. I fell into a depression, my BP was very high. After I gave birth, I fell into a depression again because I was taking care of the baby alone. It got so bad that I wanted to leave or harm my baby, I even wanted to commiting suicide, I was literally going insane.
When I tried to explain to him about my mental health, he got angry and said that I think of him as a foolish man, that’s why I am trying to enlighten him. I had to go through this mental and emotional pain alone. Sometimes when I get into a mood, the sane part of me starts praying for the safety of my baby as we left all alone in the house.
Thank God I was able to pull through. Now, I want to move out even though I don’t have enough money but he’s also planning to move us to the UK. I don’t know if I should stay and endure until I get to the UK then divorce him, or to leave now for the sake of my peace of mind.
I don’t want to be seen as a gold digger after getting to UK and divorcing him.