Retired Customs officer, 80, Shares On How He’s Been Able To Live Peacefully With His Wife For Over 50 Years Despite Being Older Than Him
A retired Assistant Comptroller General of Customs in the Nigeria Customs Service, Venerable Samuel Ope, has shared on how he and his wife have been able to live peacefully in their marriage of over five decades.
During an interview with the PUNCH, the venerable who turned 80 recently revealed that their marriage is ordained by God. Speaking further, the father of six stated that his wife is a submissive woman despite being older than him.
According to him, when to the venerable, whenever he offends his wife, she would write her thoughts in a note, stating what he did wrong and would hand it over to him because she is the shy type.
In venerable Ope, an archdeacon in the Diocese of Lagos, Anglican Communion’s words:
“We never discussed age. We already got married before I asked her about her age and she told me she was born in 1941 and I was born in 1943. I couldn’t believe it because she was so submissive up till today.
I was guided by the Holy Spirit and she’s been a fantastic woman. She washes my clothes up till today and out of respect, she chose that. She took it upon herself to wash my clothes, even when she was sick. She is respectful and doesn’t want to do anything that will make me annoyed.
In the almost 60 years that we’ve been together, there hasn’t been any quarrel called for a third party to settle it. When any of us does something wrong, we know how to talk to each other politely.
Sometimes, she can be too shy to tell me because she can’t look me in the face, so she would write her thoughts in a note, stating what I did wrong and we discussed it. All the children we have now are healthy. It is a marriage ordained by God.”
The retiree also shares about his life, his career experience and more …
You turned 80 recently. How do you feel about this milestone?
I am very happy about that. It is a thing of joy. It was fantastic and challenging because I was in the office of the Head of Service. I was later told that somebody from the treasury department would go perform some task in the Nigerian office in the US, and of course, I had to send my CV as I was nominated to go.
As soon as I got there and they got the CV, they said, “This man is ‘material’ for customs audit.” So, that was how I was posted to the audit unit.
Usually, the posting normally takes place after four years and I had barely used two years in the office of the Head of Service and I wondered why I should leave in two years. I was later moved to the internal audit unit as the chief internal auditor.
When I got there, I had to restart to organise things there. One year later, the internal audit unit came to stay. I did not only strengthen the audit unit in the headquarters. I also made sure I made the internal audit the first in all Customs-related areas throughout the federation.
How did you meet your wife and when did you get married?
We attended the same private school. Her brother and my uncle lived in the same place. One day, I was reading a book when I saw the name, Christie, and it shocked me that it was spelt differently from the way some of us spell it. At evening prep, I had to ask my classmates whether they could pronounce the name well, though I eventually pronounced it for them.
Fortunately, that was my wife’s name; the Holy Spirit led me. I never knew her name. We met at my school in 1961. I later met her in Lagos. I spoke to her when I saw her and she told me her name and she spelt and pronounced it the same way it was spelt in the book I read. During the open days, she came and I talked to her, telling her that I wanted a relationship with her. I told her to give me a reply. She was in Class Three then.
What was her reply?
After much pestering for a reply, she didn’t reply and I let go of it. So one day, her friend passed through our village to her village and dropped a note for me. When I saw it, I was happy and went to her village. She was a princess then and I also went with a friend who became my best man. We got married on November 7, 1962.
How old was your wife and what were the things that convinced you to marry her?
We never discussed age. We already got married before I asked her about her age and she told me she was born in 1941 and I was born in 1943. I couldn’t believe it because she was so submissive up till today.
I was guided by the Holy Spirit and she’s been a fantastic woman. She washes my clothes up till today and out of respect, she chose that. She took it upon herself to wash my clothes, even when she was sick. She is respectful and doesn’t want to do anything that will make me annoyed.
How have you managed to live together peacefully for over five decades?
In the almost 60 years that we’ve been together, there hasn’t been any quarrel called for a third party to settle it. When any of us does something wrong, we know how to talk to each other politely.
Sometimes, she can be too shy to tell me because she can’t look me in the face, so she would write her thoughts in a note, stating what I did wrong and we discussed it. All the children we have now are healthy. It is a marriage ordained by God.
Do you have any regrets so far in life?
I don’t have any regrets. God enabled me to achieve the desires of my heart even though I was supposed to be a doctor but later became a chartered secretary.
What are your happiest and saddest moments?
My happiest moment was when I got my letter stating that I passed a professional examination. It was the happiest (moment) in the sense that I took that examination from the hospital. The saddest moment was in 1990 when I lost my maternal grandmother. She cherished me so much and her demise made me sad.
What is your parenting style?
I’m a man of discipline. I love my children and I show them love. Good morals are important and respect for others are my landmarks for training my children and, thank God, it paid off. All of them are graduates today. I have two lawyers, a doctor, a nurse, an accountant, and a linguist.
What was your biggest challenge as a parent?
The challenges I have with the males are different from the females. I must tell you that my children didn’t give me any serious challenges because they know that it is wrong for them to do something wrong. They were very careful because they knew I would spank them and I didn’t look at their faces when I wanted to do it (spank them).
What do you consider the best virtues you have instilled in your children?
Good moral values and I carry them along in my quest for knowledge. I don’t find it too difficult to guide them and they respect me. It’s God’s grace that has made me that virtue to them.