Professional Footballer, Dele Alli Recalls Traumatic Sexual Abuse At 6 And Why He No Longer Speaks To His Biological Parents
Everton winger, Dele Alli has opened up about childhood trauma that stopped him from speaking to his father, Kehinde and mother, Denise.
Speaking in an interview with Gary Neville on The Overlap, separation between his 54-year-old father and 60-year-old mother hugely affected his formative years.
According to him, he was sexually abused at the age of six due to his parents’ separation. Alli alluded his dip in form in recent years to his childhood trauma and depressing moments.
The superstar noted that he felt ‘betrayed’ by his parents after the separation, adding that he no longer speaks to his biological parents and their efforts to reconcile with him have remained futile.
He said:
“My dad went missing for a while, and he might come out now and say some stuff about me, but when I started playing for England, he came back and then I used to speak to my mum as well. Just to try and help her.
“I don’t speak to my mum anymore. So, when I was 18, my biological mum and dad went to the newspaper and like, started accusing the family that adopted me of doing all this stuff when they didn’t know what they had, like they were the ones that used to make me go and see my mum.
“I never wanted to go. They would always tell me, ‘She’s your mum, like you should have a relationship with her’. And I think that spoke volumes, like what they were doing. They were just doing it generally because they’re amazing people. So yeah.
“And then my mum – my blood mum and dad – went to the press saying that these people are taking advantage of me. They want to go through my contracts. And I hadn’t spoken to him for years.
“I knew that wasn’t my mum’s decision because I know she didn’t really leave Milton Keynes. Like there was no way she’d done that.
“So, yeah, after that I just felt so betrayed and let down. And hurt that I just couldn’t keep the relationship with my mum. And my dad, I don’t want a relationship with him either.”
The 27-year-old admitted he had an addiction to sleeping tablets and disclosed how he spent six weeks in rehab in the USA this summer.
He also revealed he was molested by his mother’s friend at six and how he became involved in dealing in drugs at age eight before he moved to live with his dad in Lagos.
“At six, I was molested by my mum’s friend who was at the house a lot. My mum was an alcoholic.
“And then it was just a big culture change, and I didn’t want to be there, so I’d be a little bit naughtier and then after six months I got sent back.”
Alli was later adopted by Alan and Sally Hickford, the parents of one of his team-mates in the MK Dons academy. He refers to them as his adoptive family, although it is yet to be agreed on legal terms.
He appreciates their support and amazing care. Dele continued:
“My adopted family did amazing things, because they would really piece things together. There’s a lot of things that I would question myself about because it went against my values and who I am as a person or what I want to do
“And I’d question why I made them decisions, but they could link a lot of things. Like, for example, so I used to have like house parties, and I didn’t care who was in the house whilst playing football.
“So, I’d have house parties and that was very much how my [biological] mum’s house was without me knowing. It was my comfort zone – it was normal to me. So, just little things like that.”
Alli’s parents (Denise and Kehinde) gradually slipped out of his life and this was evident when he opted to wear ‘Dele’ on his back instead of his surname ‘Alli’ after signing for Tottenham in 2015.
The parents reunited to hold an interview with the Sunday Mirror after a lot of unfruitful attempts to see him – including standing outside Spurs’ training ground and paying for a tour of White Hart Lane to see their son – were unsuccessful.
In the interview, his father, Kehinde, alleged his son was being manipulated for financial gain, saying:
“I just do not understand what we have done wrong. He refuses to speak to me and it feels like he’s been taken from us. But I won’t give up on getting him back.”
Dele’s mother, Denise, said:
“I’m a very miserable person because I get so sad that Dele is missing out on his family and we’re missing out on him. I want to be able to hug him and let him know we all love him to bits. I’m not interested in his money, I’d love him the same if he worked in McDonald’s. We just want our son back.”
Alli, however, is full of praise for his foster parents for rescuing him during the childhood trauma and depressing moments.
He said in the ‘candid’ interview with Neville,
“I was sent to Africa to learn discipline. Then I was sent back. Seven, I started smoking. Eight I started dealing drugs, selling drugs. An older person told me they wouldn’t stop a kid so I’d ride around with my football and then underneath I’d have the drugs.
“Eleven, I was hung off a bridge by a guy from the next estate. At 12, I was adopted. And from then, I was adopted by an amazing family, I couldn’t have asked for better people to do what they’ve done for me…If God created people, it was them. They are amazing and have helped me a lot.”