I got married this year in July. My husband is a naturally aggressive man, and I thought I could handle it. The first time I met his parents was during our introduction. After our wedding, I went to his parents’ for the Ileya festival for a month, I saw the way he talks to his parents, and it broke my heart.
He doesn’t listen to anyone, he is always right, he once hit me when we were dating and he apologized. Now that we are married, he sees me as a nag because I’m not comfortable with him messing up the house. Whenever he takes something from somewhere in the house, he never returns it, cutleries from the kitchen, he dumps them in the sitting room, his clothes are always on the couch. It’s my duty to clear them I know, but I get tired sometimes and whenever I call his attention to it, he says that I complain and when I try to raise my voice for him to know that I’m serious, he threatens to beat me.
He has beaten me once in the course of our marriage. This happened when he stained the floor and I took the mop to clean it, he called me, “Mrs perfectionist ” and he told me if I keep monitoring him like that he’ll show me the stuff he’s made of and I told him he can’t do me nothing, and he beat me so much that day.
Ever since we got married, he’s never bought me a thing and I’m not exaggerating, he’s been like that since we started dating. I believed since we were still dating, it won’t be right to ask for things from him.
The sadder part is that he doesn’t apologize for shouting and yelling at me. He even won’t talk to me for days, sometimes, I’ll have to apologize to him even when I’m supposed to be the one to get the apology.
Sometimes, he uses 5 plates at a time just to get me angry. He spills things on the floor and leaves them there just to see me suffer and when I complain, he threatens to beat me and there is nothing anyone can do and truly nobody can beat him back.
As I write, we are not on talking terms and I just had to lock myself up in a room so I don’t get to see him. I’m sincerely tired and I really feel like leaving this marriage for good.
I do not get any upkeep money from him and I have no lasting happiness. I live in fear of getting beaten up and I don’t want to report him to my parents because I am afraid that he may disrespect them the way he disrespects his and I do not want that. I had earlier threatened that I will report him to my dad, and he said I should go ahead as if it’s my father that is feeding him.
If I choose to report him to his parents, it makes no difference as he doesn’t listen to them at all. I just feel like packing my things and leaving. I have my job and it’s doing well. I have every reason to be happy except for the sight of him that scares and disgusts me at the same time.
He feels comfortable not talking to me and I feel it’s best that I leave for the sake of my sanity. I’ve tried to love and to respect him. Sometimes when he shouts at me, I’ll cry like a baby just to make him pity me, but he’ll just leave me on the floor like I mean nothing to him.
I have tried fasting and prayers too but nothing seems to be working. I did the 7-day dry fasting and prayer one time and on the 7th day when I looked so skinny, he picked another fight with me without even feeling sorry for me. I really don’t know what else to do. I don’t have a single friend to talk to about it and my sister is too young to understand all of this. I’m sorry for the long post. I just feel better letting it off my chest a little. Thanks.
