Nigerian Woman Pens Heartfelt Letter To Estranged Father Who Disowned Her But Now Calls For Her After Getting Sick And Bedridden
A Nigerian woman, Awele Chukwukaumemma has taken to social media to address her estranged father, rejecting his recent request to reconnect as he reportedly lies sick and bedridden.
In a heartfelt and detailed post, the mother of three recounted years of emotional and familial turmoil, accusing her toxic father of disowning her and forcing an end to her marriage due to what she describes as disdain for her happiness and modest lifestyle.
The Facebook user alleged that her father rejected her marriage to a man who he believed didnât meet the familyâs wealth standards, going as far as returning her bride price and disowning her.
She recalls how the incident led to tension and eventual divorce, despite her several attempts to make her marriage work.
Her story also touches on years of mistreatment from her stepmother and alleged emotional abuse from her father, which left a lasting impact on her family life.
She said twelve years after disowning her, the father reportedly reached out, wanting to speak with her from his sick bed.
However, she stated that she has moved on, having found closure and strength through faith, and has no desire to revisit her past pain.
Although she forgave her father long ago, she maintains that she does not want any further contact, wishing him well but choosing to prioritize her peace.
Awele wrote;
“Dear Father, I was told this evening that you want me to call you but I told the Messenger to tell you that I wonât call you because I donât want to have anything to do with you and I donât care to know what you want to say to me on your sick bed.
I forgave you long ago. I sincerely forgave you and everyone who contributed to all the torture and heartbreaks I had experienced in my life.
Itâs been 12years since you did your worse against me for no reason at all just because you hate to see me happy. 12 years ago, you returned my Bride price unprovoked. My Ex husband and I never wronged you in any way.
Our only crime was that we were not as rich as your other children and in-laws and so you practically turned my husband (Ex) into your slave and for just the one time he refused to run an errand for you because he felt disrespected by the way and manner your message was delivered to himâŠ
You my father had told my younger sister (step) to call my Husband (Ex) and tell him to go and organize the water that will be used for cooking in her traditional marriage. I could remember vividly how he took that message on that fateful day.
I was bathing my then 4months old Baby ChukwuMemofuma when my Ex stormed the bathroom stammering in anger that he has never been disrespected in this manner. I begged him to calm down and to put the blame on me because such insult wonât come if he wasnât married to me.
I also begged him to allow me speak to my so called step sister who delivered such disrespectful message to him without regarding my feelings or consequences of her action (how will she regard me when I was nothing but a mere slave to her Mom my stepmother while growing up) I begged him to put all the blame on me cos his marrying me didnât affect how they disrespected or disregarded me even though I am the firstborn child of the family.
I later called my stepsister to tell her that she was wrong to disrespect my husband that way and that she ought to have called me instead and I would have gladly assisted her with the errand.
She argued seriously with me but later agreed to apologize to my Ex for peace sake. An apology I appreciated but little did I know that after my Ex left me while bathing our baby, and he called You my father to express his displeasure for sending him such an errand through your young(est) daughter, someone who is the 4th child while me his Ex wife is the 1st child of the family.
You my Father apologized to my husband (Ex) for your disrespect and that made him calm. But little did we know that you had prepared the worse for us because that same day you took money to my in-laws house and flung the envelope of money at my Father in-law and told him that his son, my husband (Ex) is no longer your in-law and that if your daughter (me) wants to remain in that marriage that I stand disowned.
On hearing this ugly incident my heart broke a million times. I went to my village to report to your brothers who followed me to my in-laws’ place but the only condition my angry in-laws gave them was for them to tell you to come back and pick up the money you threw on the floor of the old manâs house. But till date you failed to do it and called their bluff.
I stood by my husband (Ex) and was determined to make our marriage work, but no matter how much I tried, sand sand don already enter my Garri and my husband (Ex) and in-law isolated me for the disgrace and shame they claimed I brought on them through my fatherâs conduct.
I managed to remain in my already shaky marriage and even decided to have one more child cos maybe that will unite us again but even the arrival of my last princess (Kasimma) could not bring back peace and love to my marriage.
After suffering in silence for two more years, coupled with the drastic and ugly changes in the character of the man I once married, I decided to leave EVERYTHING I had ever worked for behind. And I picked up myself and my 3 Daughters and left my marriage with the little dignity I had left in me. I was only 31 years old, afraid to face the Future and I was hopeless at the time I took this bold step.
Father, you were not only an Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my stepmomâs hands, your own wickedness on me was worse. And I swore several times that in my next life I will not cross paths with you even as a mere passerby because I wonât want to throw greetings at you. You hated me for no reason even though all I ever showed you was respect and submission as your daughter.
Two weeks after I left my marriage, I sent you a THANK YOU TEXT. Thanking you for your role and contribution towards the destruction of my once sweet marriage. You never responded to it. Only your Mother stood by me and you hated her for speaking the truth against you⊠Thatâs why I Love Grandma.
I later prayed God to help me heal my tender heart and to give me the grace to forgive you and everyone who had stabbed me with unkindness and wickedness.
God answered my prayer and gave me the closure I desperately needed and helped me to be able to forgive everyone and moved on with the broken pieces of my life⊠I moved on ALONE WITH MY 3 Daughters who were just 7, 5 and 3 years olds.
I got the closure I desperately needed from God. I got the healing I needed from God. I got the courage to face life again from God. God has been my only true source of strength till date I owe God so much.
Thank You Father, for without your hatred I wouldnât have stumbled on my inner strength. So I FORGIVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. However, I am not your child Sir, you disowned me in 2012 when I chose to stand by my husband (Ex) and fight for my marriage because he never deserved the disrespect you meted at him and you had no right to shut him up from expressing his displeasure.
Unfortunately, we finally Divorced and Iâm in a better place today with my peace of mind intact.
To show that I forgave you a long time ago, when you celebrated your 70th birthday in 2022, I asked for your account details from one of your children and I sent you a big sum of money and a text message but you never acknowledged it or responded to my message even though you bragged about my gift but you never told me a âThank youâ.
I did not regret being kind to you once more despite all you put me through but I made up my mind NEVER TO LOOK AT YOUR DIRECTION ANYMORE.
Thank you Father, but I wonât call you. I hear you are terribly sick and bedridden but I wonât visit you or call you. Keep whatever you want say, I donât want to hear it. I wish you well Father. God be with you Sir.
I will stop here for now because Iâm already writing a Book about my life to tell my Story. But I pray you see this before itâs too late.
NB:
Let none of you piss me off with unsolicited advice on this post. If you try it, I will send you to my Block Industry straight. Be Warned.
#AweleChukwukaumemma.”
