Dear MIM Readers: Should I Send A Val Message To My Baby’s Father Who Abandoned Us
I am 25 years old single mum.
I met the father of my son in 2013 and a month after then I got pregnant for him, (no insult please I know it was too short to have gotten pregnant, it wasn’t planned). He persuaded me to have an abortion but I refused because of a revelation an unknown man of God gave me 5 years before about me having an abortion. This guy told me he can’t marry me beacause he’s from anambra and I am yoruba, that his people won’t allow the marriage, which I am not particular about. I am not interested in him marrying me, I just want him to be responsible for his son. I called his mum mysef to tell her I was pregnant she shouted and hanged up on me. This guy abandoned me with the pregnancy, he was never there till I gave birth, his family never called for once even when I put to bed they didn’t call either and they were aware about the pregnancy(it really baffles me that his parents don’t care about their grandchild). He said we should do a DNA test but each time I tell him we should go for it he keeps giving me excuses and postponing the test. Now my baby is a little over a year, and althrough he was never there to support financially or emotionally.
Now the problem is I can’t stop loving this guy despite all his wickedness and hatred towards me, (which I sincerely wish I could stop). I have forgiven him sincerely from my heart for everything he did to me. I haven’t seen him now since 2013 when he told me to have an abortion but I can’t stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try. I feel this urge to tell him I still love him on val’s day but am scared the reply might hurt me.
Please advice me generally on what to do. Should I send him the love text on val’s day or should I not? How can I stop loving him and how do I forget him because I am sick and tired of my feelings for him I really want to hate him but I can’t bring myself to hate him. Please advice and no insults please have made the mistake already. He’s also not married yet.
its either the reply is gonna hurt u or u don’t get a reply at all. pls don’t hurt yourself.
Send him a message- teach him how to love
Just let him be, if he loved you he won’t hv left u all this while
My dear u cn send him a val mssg,bt be sure of nt gettin any rply,or anoda woman rplyin u,or him cumin bck to cum nd use u nd dump agin,just be careful wit ur feelin
It’s been a long time dear just let him go cos I see no point in loving someone dat doesn’t even care an inch about u. If u feel ur heart is strong enough to accommodate the reply he will send to u then u can send the message if not just let him be. U have been able to care for urself and ur child all these while so just keep doing it and focus on ur life. God bless u dear.
Pls just stop loving him, he not worth it! Channel your energy into establishing your self higher and higher till the right person finds you! You already know the reply will hurt you, so if you love your self, I. Believe you won’t wanna hurt your self on purpose…..
Pls i will advise u let him be cos he is nt worth d stress u wnt to go into.
Even if u use d most romantic words on him,he is nt goin to reply u so its beta u let d lying dog be.
As for ur feelings twards him,u said u didnt intend to marry him so hw wil u stil b in love wit him afta two years.Someone who didnt care to know if u r alive or dead.
Why do u still feel for someone like dat. Pls move on with ur life n let him be.
Channel that love to your son. You can’t force love, honestly there is a reason for D & C. But since you went ahead and had that baby, look after him & stop disturbing the youngman because a child can never make a man love u. Dont send sms to him, move on & deal with your obsession. Now it’s getting scary.
Imagine after all the pains u stl love him.let me tell you that u were just a fling to him.the best thing would have been to tell you not to send the val message& keep ur dignity cos he wl either bone ur side or insult u but on a second thought I wl advice u send d message maybe d insult he wl throw u or maybe the blanking he wl give you wl make u know that nothing good wl come out of the relationship. So make ur son d centre of ur universe& forget a man& d family who abandoned u when you needed them d most
My Dear sustain the little dignity left in you. It’s obvious That he doesn’t love you and remember you can’t force love…… So I would advise you forget about him and concentrate on your self for Good…….. Good luck
Please move on. Stop hurting yourself by thinking of someone who is obviouslynot thinking of you. It may be tough to do but you need to do it. Do not send that message pls. You are better off without him.
I know it hurts ….but just let him be
Don’t send him any messages. Ignore him completely and focus on your son
Don’t send any message,,he should be the one doing so..have some worth please and let him be..love yoursef and the baby..
Love yourself first
Pls concentrate on ur baby this val and not on some worthless man. Have some dignity. Love ur son like ur life depends on it.
Pls let him go
live your life my dear. A man who will want you to sin is no man for you. Let him be
U’ve not met a man dat luvs u yet
His negative action towards your feelings will not make a difference from the one he has already done.
Hence, if you still have a true feeling for him and wish to express it in any positive way – SMS or any other means please go ahead and do it. True feelings are most times equal on both sides but it is usually suppressed by ego and pride.
You still have one thing in common – the child, he maybe having the same feelings but may not be bold enough to come back to express it because of the way he and his family treated you.
So do it if you can even if his response turns out negative at least it will help you to be clean with your conscience and as well guide you in the next line of action – Good Luck!
Are u serious?????
Pls forget him and move on with ur life..! D time u needed him d most he was nt there so its so glaring dat he doesn’t love u at all. Pls concentrate on ur son and stop loving him.
You will only end up hurting yourself more. Trust me if he did love you he wouldve fouund a way to communicate with you and not wait for you to prophess your love for him on vals day before he realises himself. Save yourself the heart ache. What if you txt him and he shows his gf and she calls you to mock you? Or he send you a nasty msg, or he doesn’t even act as if he saw the message?
Please stop hurting yourself. forget that man.
Don’t hurt yourself darling, he may not even reply you or reply with; who is this please.?
Give ursef some respect girl. Aba!!
Don’t send him any message but if you insist, don’t expect any response.
Nne, pls dnt send him any luv message so u dnt hurt urself de more.Loosen up n give urself a brk 4rm thinking of him.Wit time u’ll find sum1 dat’ll luv u n ur son jst de way u deserve.Goodluck
I think you should send the message. If it comes out good, fine and it gets sour, it will make u to move on nd forget him nd channel the love an attention to your son. No need chasing what is not for u. Even if he comes bk, he can treat u anyhow knowing that u can take anything from him. I wish u best of luck and the one for u if not him will come your way
The best advice is de one u gv to urself n u alone kws wht to expect so trend well.
I wouldn’t advice you do so. That guy may be seeing someone at the moment. You still feel the way you do cause you are fuelling your desire for him by thinking about him regularly. Set your mind on some other things. Get out there and start dating again,you will meet someone who values you.
Self love is the most impt thing.
Its not fair to love someone and they don’t love u back but that life. Thank God u had the strenghtto have that baby despite it all. If u haven’t seen him since the day he asked u to about the child girl move on. He isn’t worth it n if he doesn’t love u by now he will never love u. That best revenge u can have on this man is to be happy n give ur son a good life. Trust me 10 yrs from now he would come crawling but if u keep waiting n loving him u’ll be miserable n he would be having fun. Focus n channel that energy to urself n son.
Send him a message but don’t expect a reply from him cos he may not reply or send abusive one. Pls move on
Save ur airtym
What you feel for this guy is not love but lost.
Move on