Dear MIM: “I am your husband’s mistress,” My Husband’s Secretary Confessed To Me
I am happily married with two children. I live abroad with my children while my husband shuffles between home and abroad because he has a good bussines running back home.
My husband’s secretary disclosed a secret to me because I have been so good to her. She said her conscience would not let her rest, and since she cries all the time about it, she was left with no choice but to tell me, so that I can forgive her and she can be free as well.
She has worked with my husband for 3 years now. She said at the early stage of her employment, my husband slept with her in the office a couple of times. This was 2 years ago. Although I was shocked, as a woman of virtue, I did not take it as an offence. I had to cover my husband’s back still and told her that it was not him then because the devil can use anyone when temptation arises but if you make yourself available, you will for it. I told her not to worry about it that old things have passed away and that my husband is a renewed person entirely. Please note my husband doesnt flirt around.
My question now is, did I handle this matter right? Did I tell her the right thing? This is a woman I took like a younger sister and I don’t want her to feel bad for telling me. Is there any need to confront my husband indirectly or directly? He usually tells me everything he does. He’s quite plain and open minded to me.
He would confess his sins saying, “I have offended you, but please, I need you to forgive me that’s why I’m telling you,” and we would normally just talk about it and laugh it off. But he never once told me anything about his involvement with this lady which is why I’m thinking I should ask him. To be honest, I am afraid of his reaction. Besides, it happened two years ago but I only got to know yesterday. Any advice on how to handle this will be much appreciated.
That’s how women always cover up for their husbands and be in denial. Why are you scared of asking him? What happened to communication in marriage? Na wa oh. I am glad u have forgiven her but please trash it out with your husband and stop making excuses for him. Because u don’t see him flirt doesn’t mean he doesn’t.
If I were you I would ask him just to clear your conscience. As for the way you handled the issue you were so matured in your answer. I give my thumbs up for you.
My dear since he has not told u abt it confront him in a polite manner ad ask him.
Indirectly ask him ad look at his face to dictate his reaction
Abeg confront him
Just sit him down and talk to him the same way you guys normally talk about other issues, you can start by asking him, if he doesn’t think there is something he’s hiding from you, he will probably ask you what…and you will reply by saying, please reminisce to what you did 2 years ago, if he still can’t recall or deny it, then spill the beans, but try your best not to scold him while at it. Since you guys have a way of settling your issues in the past, i believe he will be remorseful and beg you for forgiveness. #enoughsaid
Hnmmmm short of words
It’s sad because once trust is broken it’s difficult to mend. ..but please confront him then decide on whether to forgive and move on. And that girl cannot work for him anymore it will be awkward .
just let the secetary know you appreciate her telling u and then quietly and calmly ask your hubby about it
Woman are you for real.did i hear u make excuses for him.jeez
U handle it well not everything one need to fight or shout about
Since you and your husband have great flow of communication already then telling him all you’ve heard shouldn’t be painstaking, you need to hear whatever he has to say regarding the issue, but it’s most likely he’s guilty.
Hmmmmmm meeennnnnn, I think is better you talk to him about it but you have to be calm when saying it to him
Ma,I’ll advice you let it go since u know you know that your husband doesn’t flirt,like you said it might be a one time thing & likely tempted
Waiting to see comments
Yes u did well, that is if you allowed her finish her story. Then u should query your husband man biko,let him exain why. And who knows if he doesn’t have other mistresses. Men are so unpredictable
Dear poster you did not handle the matter well in the beginning, why wait after this long to handle this delicate issue, in this case you are not offending him, Pls sit him down and pour your heart to him, without hating words
You really need to confront your man, you don’t make excuses for a man cos you don’t know what he’s got going on. This is the one that came to confess to you because she’s close to you, do you know if there are others out there that doesn’t know you? HIV and every other STD is so real, don’t let anyone end your life while you’re living in ignorance.
You should have thanked her for telling you(whether or not you believed her).Then you make your own investigation or find a way of getting it out of your husband
Go ahead and ask him so u can Have a free mind
hmmmmn.if i was d one trust me i would ask.m so damn blunt. we just would have to talk abt it.for d forgiving part u tried.
You did well wit ur actions
that is maturity
just confront him and if he ask for forgiveness pls do forgive him
You tried. But the problem is women are so blind to see their husband is cheating and you are one of them. She told you about it cos she feels guilty and you have been so good to her. He was so plain about it that you never suspected or got to know about it. What if they are others or there who prefer married men and you don’t know about them. HIV is real ma, ask him and pray for him to change cos he might be a smooth criminal #word
Let sleeping dogs lie . If you don’t want to hurt more, don’t ask because you will be shocked to know that they are still into it… u now know work with that knowledge. # talkingfromexperienceoooo#
calmly confront him.
then make demands. demands that he will definitely feel pained while fulfilling them.
Pls don’t ask him, move on.. it’s already in d past.
I Dnt think you need to address the issue with your hubby again, since you know that old things has pass away… You only need to pray to God to arrest him to be able to confess if he actually did it… Put your trust in God.