Oluwatoyin Osaigbovo & Chiomah Momah
Continued from Part 1.
7. DEPRIVING EACH OTHER OF NECESSITIES
It is almost instinctive for anyone to look for their necessities wherever they can get it. This makes this a major mistake. The bible says you have defrauded your partner if you deny them of sex. If you do deny them of sex, they will find it elsewhere. There is also the issue of the woman depriving her husband of food. If you do not cook for him, someone else will and this could drive a wedge in your relationship. In the same vein, do not use these necessities as a weapon to inflict punishment, get what you need or have your way. Always communicate through dialogue instead.
8. IGNORING EACH OTHER’S LOVE LANGUAGE
We all have different love languages. For some, it’s gifts and others, sex. Some other people want quality time shared. Some would want several calls a day, etc. This is what makes them feel loved, wanted or cared for. It’s different for everyone. Some even want all the above. We should recognise each person’s love language, speak it and build on it. If not, a spouse feels their partner doesn’t care.
If you do not speak the right language to your partner, it’s like feeding grass to a lion – he won’t eat it and still remain hungry. This makes your partner feel unloved and could tear your relationship apart.
READ ALSO: Ways to Nurture Your Marriage
9. COMPARING YOUR PARTNER TO SOMEONE ELSE
When you compare your partner to someone else, especially when you feel the other person is better, it lowers your partner’s self esteem and makes them dislike you and sometimes try to be like the other person. This can also send a partner into an identity crisis.
10. LACK OF SUPPORT FOR YOUR PARTNER’S DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS
When a partner does not feel that you support them in their dreams and aspirations, they feel you are on separate teams. Your partner then begins to look for their team member; a supporter. They want someone who will help build that dream. Someone to validate them and show them that they can achieve and go beyond that dream. When they find that person outside the home, it becomes difficult to tear them apart and this poses enormous risk to a marriage.
Verbal, physical, emotional and psychological abuse have major damaging effects on a marriage. The partner feels less than human and begins to hate the abuser for causing such trauma. Physical abuse can disable or kill your partner. It is important to note that there is no tenable reason for abuse and rather than have low self esteem, the abused if properly counselled, should leave.
In addition, many men have complained about being verbally abused. There are men who also verbally abuse their wives. This is extremely dangerous in a marriage and can frustrate a partner out of the home. There must be mutual respect no matter what.
This, even when it occurs once, often brings a lot of complications and tears otherwise happy families apart in the speed of light. Stay committed to your spouse!
Tags: couples, marriage
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Noted. Thanks for sharing MIM.
Thanks for sharing
Very important points. Thanks
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