Dear MIMsters: Is This Marriage Really Worth Fighting For Considering These?
Please I need advice from the mature people on this platform. I have been married to this young man I met in University. We are both Christians and live in Europe. However, it’s been one challenge after the other as we have different ideologies. For example, after University, my husband did several professional courses and degrees, spending so much time and money on these, only to turn round 5 years ago to say he was going into full-time ministry.
He wasn’t pastoring a church at the time, but rather, spending his time in the library writing books and having prayer meetings with his family, as these were supposedly good practice for the ministry. I was never in favour of him doing full-time ministry as we had children to look after and also needed to settle down after several years of schooling but he ignored my pleas and did as he pleased.
During this time, I focused on my career and children, realising that I couldn’t count on him financially to adequately provide for us. I am very passionate about my job and give it my all, and usually very tired by the time I get home. He didn’t help me much at home and refused to let me employ an aupair/nanny to help with the kids.
The relationship broke down in several ways, but we still remained married. Five years down the line, he has realised the enormity of his actions and how difficult a situation he put us through and is trying to make amends. He still doesn’t work, but tries to do a few bits to pay some of the bills around the house.
The issue now is that, I have recently been offered a job at a good company about 2 hours by train from where we live. To help with looking after the kids, I have spoken to an elderly mutual friend of ours who will get the children ready for school, feed them, etc, while I’m away, until we sort something more workable out (possibly moving to this new town). However, my husband has refused this approach, and also refused to look after the children in my absence. He has told me to defer the start date of my new job so we can all move to the new town, which is not possible. He has threatened to go away with the kids if I travel to start this job. Mind you, I have already resigned from my current job. Please tell me, honestly, is this marriage worth fighting for?
He is a selfish man that doesn’t care about his family one bit. That said, the marriage is still worth fighting for. You can call in people he respects to intervene and talk to him about why you need to talk the job since you are the only one struggling to put the family together financially and other wise.
Hmmmm
This guy does not give a shit about you or the children. You guys are in the Western world where women has a lot of right, try and fight this cos I knew he won’t win.
Seems to me the decision is made. You have no job right now as you resigned, he has diddly squat except his male ego which does not pay the bills. If you have to get child services involved. The welfare of your children is paramount.. The children are better off with working mum (with a good job too) and a dad bringing in pennies than with a mum a and dad bringing in pennies. He needs to get off his lazy backside and turn his ego, jealousy and anger towards you into a zeal to find a way of looking after his family.
you husband is enemy of progress .pls dear, go on wit you job and forget abt him.
When he goes away with the kids are they going to feed on sand? He doesn’t take care of them now, is he going to start when they are in his custody? My dear that’s an empty threat. You are struggling to better the lives of your kids and an unsupportive spouse wants to spoil show. You are in Europe not 9ja so he can’t possibly carry out his threat except he wants to lose them totally
u not in nija ooo he cant run away wt the kids u work he does so u have a solid legal right of custody over those kids