Dear MIMsters: Should I Marry This Divorced Dad-Of-Two Or Just Keep Searching?

I am a 33-year-old lady. I completed my National Youth Service 5 years ago but have been a hustler since then because I don’t have a good job yet.

I have been in several relationships which didn’t work out since 2007, after my wedding plans with my then fiancé failed – his people had insisted they don’t want another tribe though we loved each other. I subsequently decided to let go.

I am presently dating a divorcée who is 9 years older than I am. We’ve been together for about 2 years now and he has been proposing to marry me but I am hesitant because I feel I don’t want to marry a married man. Even at the beginning when he started asking me out, I told him I can’t go out with a married man but he still insisted and before I knew it, we started dating.

He is naturally a good and caring person and according to investigations I carried out through neighbours and friends, the wife didn’t leave his house because he fought her or sent her away but because she wanted to control him. She is this type of woman who feels because she is from a wealthy family and all her brothers are in US, she can dictate to her husband. She sold things he bought in the house like one of their cars, washing machine and so on, without telling him, and travels up and down without telling him her movements. She even applied for her visa without telling him.

They were married for 12 years and got married before her brothers became wealthy. He was the one that gave her a job and also opened a shop for her. After she left the house for almost a year, she came back with her father to take their two kids; a girl and boy.

Please, I am confused because as a young lady, I want to have a church wedding and marry an equally young guy. However, there’s no serious relationship on ground now except the one with the divorcée. He is a wonderful and nice man. Should I marry him as time is running out or keep waiting for the man of my dreams? Please I need your advice.

9 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Should I Marry This Divorced Dad-Of-Two Or Just Keep Searching?”
  • I smell desperate to marry hence you don’t think you will find another man. Anyways a divorced man is a human being and also deserves a second chance at love. If you’re truly convinced you can settle with him, then go ahead.

  • If you feel right with him, please go ahead. But don’t marry for any wrong reason like time running out, marry because you feel compatible with him

  • Something is telling you to rethink the situation. The story you have heard about the break up of his first marriage is from him and his sympathizers. You need to know the full story and hear the wife’s version and see if you can live with that. A good marriage is made by two people, a divorce is reached the same way. It is hardly ever just one persons fault though one person may take actions that destroy and already fraught situation. Listen to your instinct, do more research, find peace, or walk away. Men can pretend for 10 years, you walk into their house their attitude changes and you realize why the first wife did what she did………..

  • my dear, ur problem is truely complicated. at d age of 33 not yet settled!! a time will come when u will cry bitterly more than this, mayb no other man is coming, u will like say if u had known, or u mayb u might start looking for the fruit of the womb. anyway first seek the face of God to grant u an unmarried man, fast and pray over it cos there must a fault from the man y his wife left with the kids. then if that doesn’t work. try to get info from d xwife to know her reason for walking away, or from ppl related to d wife, cos I believe all d infos u collected are from ppl who are related to d man so there is no way they will not speak good about him. then follow ur heart. Takia…

  • 12 years of marriage no be beans o. Please investigate very well. Don’t get info from his sympathizers. Try getting from the wife’s side by probably going to the area where her parents live, etc. If the coast is clear, 9 years difference is not a problem

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