Dear MIMsters: How would you handle a mum and sister like mine
I am in a dilemma right now. I need your advice on how to handle a mother and a sister like mine
I am in my late twenties and due to get married in few months. My fiancé and I are in a long distance relationship, so I don’t get to see him all the time but we both make sure we keep the communication line strong.
The reason why I need your advice is because I came down to his place and discovered I could actually get a few stuffs for our wedding at his place at cheaper prices. I was suppose to go back home two weeks after my stay at his place but because of those things I needed to get, I couldn’t. Since it would take a while before I visit him again, I decided to stay a week longer.
I tried to explain to my mum why I needed an extra week to do what I wanted to do but to my amazement, she called my fiancé immediately and started blasting him. The verbal abuse to him was too much, and this is somebody they have known for two years. My elder sister also called him and blasted him as well and mind you, I don’t have anything doing at home with them other than to sit down all day. I know my fiancé is the gentle type and very respectful but with the way they are overreacting, it’s beginning to get to him.
All I do at home is cook all day. I have lost three suitors in the past all because of my mum and sister’s behaviour towards them. I met my fiance miraculously and they have started with him as well. It got as bad as my mum telling him she would involve his family and disgrace him if I don’t come back on the day she wants me to. I have been keeping mute because I’m still shocked at the way things are unfolding. Please what should I do?
Please stay and buy the things and let them do their worse. What nonsense is that? It’s very disrespectful to your man for them to behave that way. Did he kidnap u!? You need to stop this attitude of theirs now that you are not married yet because if they continue, it will continue even in marriage.
confront dem…stand up for ur man..or you would be pushed around
Stand up for your right girl, you ain’t a baby anymore.
u need to let them know that u are an adult not a child anymore they give u some space to get hold of ur life soon u will married and they won’t run ur home or make decisions for u or take responsibility for your actions as such they should stop their actions when you are done shopping you will come back home and u will keep them posted otherwise you won’t take it d next time d react dat way tell your man to avoid their calls and if you arw around him when they call he shud give you the phone to talk to them… stand up for your right as a woman soon to be married before it gers late before tomoro even if you marry him they will be pushing the both of you around
Go back home and leave the list of things for your man to get. Keep quiet and use wisdom until after the wedding which is obviously what they want to scuttle. So don’t give them that pleasure.
After the wedding, cut off ties with them after giving them a piece of your mind.
For now, apply wisdom
Your mum and sis believed in the ‘old fashioned’ chastity, that’s why they are trying to protect your honour. Mind you, he’s still your fiance, not yet your husband and no matter what, you will always be your mama’s daughter. Why not honour your mummy’s request and go back home and save her some respect with your fiance because when the chips are down in marriage, they are the closest person you talk to. I’m sure after your wedding they will give you the space you so much desire.
My take. She should go back home and maintain a cordial relationship with her mom and sister.