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Dear MIMsters: Should I Abandon Facebook Due to Their Incessant Demands?

Dear MIMsters: Should I Abandon Facebook Due to Their Incessant Demands?

Should I abandon Facebook due to their incessant demands? I moved to Europe when l was 21 years old, and now I am a 33 year-old woman.

I’m currently running a PHD programme. Since I moved 15 years ago, l have been studying, starting from a  bachelor’s degree. I am now also married with 3 kids.

This allowed me only a part time job to support myself. I didn’t complain but I kept going until I finished my Masters Degree. It was never an easy experience. Due to language barriers in my country of residence in accessing a professional jobs, l decided to get PhD so that l can get paid during my time study. Although, this opportunity has opened doors for study grants in helping my research.

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My problem now is how to handle old friends and some family members whom l have not been intouch with over the years.

Through Facebook, they contact me to always ask for money. Not knowing or bothering to ask how I am doing. Although, l use to give to few of them, l’ve realised that after the first giving, they always return to make another demand.

This has troubled me so much that right, there are 3 persons from Nigeria asking me for money. One asked for money for his friend’s child who is in the hospital, then asked friend to contact me.

Number 2 friend is a secondary school classmate whom I have previously helped before and is now asking for money for surgical procedures. Number 3 is a cousin whose father is financially okay. This one annoys me so much by harassing me persistently online.

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However, these are people who hardly know what I’m going through. Right now for example, my dad and mom are retired but are yet to receive their gratuities and pensions. My husband and I have taken them as our responsibility.

I am fending for my younger sister who is studying abroad, otherwise my sister would have been back home in Nigeria already due to the weakness of the Naira and my parent’s retirement without pay.

Now that I am facing these financial challenges, I also need help with my bills. I am only managing at the moment with my kids and my husband supporting me .

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Please, l really need an advice to handle these kind of demands from friends and some family members. I have not been replying their messages because I really don’t know how to handle them.

View Comments (6)
  • An average Nigerian believes Nigerians living abroad are rich. I think you should address them properly. Tell them you do not have the money they want and whenever you do have, you will send to them.

  • Tell them you dont have it! U have ur challenges too. Like someone already mentioned, an average Nigerian thinks someone loving abroad automatically equates to wealth. Set them straight. Leave facebook for them???? My dear, speak up!

  • If it’s only through Facebook they can reach you, then you do not have any problems. Simply ignore the messages. They will sort themselves out one way or another. You face your own issues. They will leave you alone when you stop reading and responding to their requests.

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