Dear MIMsters: My Mother Is Mean To My Daughter and I

I actually had a rough childhood growing up with my mum because she is mean. Always has been.

My mum always poured her anger and frustration on me for reasons best know to her. When I was as young as 12, my mum would throw my things out of her house, asking me to go to my father’s house. At 13, I took care of my baby brother as if I was his biological mum.

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While my mum slept at night, I would stay awake all night nursing her son. I even had to fan him with a hand fan when power goes off. I washed his clothes and napkins every morning and kept the house in order before leaving for school.

At a point, my own mother poured hot water on me from a flask because I did not allow the water boil properly (the improperly boiled water actually peeled my skin). She asked me not to touch her food. At times, the only time I ate was in school when lunch was served.

When I first saw my period, I told my mother, and she asked me to get out of her front. My mum made the throwing of my bag outside her house a hobby to an extent I started going to my gradma’s house whenever she did that. Even when I go there, she would come over and yell at her own mother and ask me to leave her mother’s house.

At 17, I ended up in a relationship with a guy who had money and got pregnant the first time I had sex and had a child. Even when I had my child, she didn’t come to see me. She lost her husband 2 years ago, and things haven’t been good with her. My daughter is six now and I am in final year as a student.

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In January, she asked for my daughter to stay with her which I agreed to since I hold no grudge against her. My baby’s dad sends upkeep money frequently, buys provision, does everything she wants him to do financially.

He even buys clothes for her two kids whenever he buys for our child, but she still showers abuses on me and my baby’s dad. She makes my six year old baby do all the chores in the house. My daughter is looking so thin now. Whatever we do for her doesn’t satisfy her. He takes them out every Saturday. If he’s very busy and doesn’t take them out one weekend, she will complain.

All she wants is money money money!!! She doesn’t even want to know how I manage my life in school. No matter what I give her, she still insults me at my back, telling my younger one poor things about me. As if I am working in an oil company. I have taken my daughter from her to avoid a repetition of what she did to me.

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Even when I gave her money as excursion fee for my daughter, my kid brother and sister, simply because the money was short of 1 thousand Naira, my daughter did not partake in the excursion. I gave her 11 thousand instead of 12 thousand. She even says mean things to my daughter as if she has ever spent a dime on her. I feel like avoiding her for life as I really don’t know how to deal with her problems.

 

33 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: My Mother Is Mean To My Daughter and I”
  • Awww! Dis is a sympathetic story pls my dear look for someone dt ur mum listen to ad find out wat causes dis type of hatred ad then u will know d next thing to do bt dnt avoid her bcos she is still ur mum unless she is nt ur biological moda.

  • Please don’t ever let your daughter stay with her a again. Thank God you are rounding up. So let her be. Give her whatever you can afford & don’t do more than your ability.

  • I’m just wondering why u would send ur daughter to her after all u’ve been through.U are lucky ur baby daddy is responsible.Pls do not for any reason allow ur child or children be with her.Learn from ur past n protect ur kid(s) fron what u went through.Some things are beyond d ordinary

  • To me there is an underlying issue between your dad and your mom that you may not know but in all forgive her, keep your distance and honour her materially and financially. Block your ears to her negative comments and keep your daughter because she might ask you to bring her again. This is one of the impact of divorce/separation on the children and now your mom is even extending it to her grandchild.

  • Sorry to say this poster but if your mother is all u said then she doesn’t worth to be called a mother. Move on with your life you can forgive her if she repents

  • Are u sure she’s ur biological mother, dis wan pass me o,with all u went through, u stil took ur daughter 2 stay with her, u must b kidding. Pls stay far away from her.

  • She sees you as a past mistake and which unfortunately you existence always remind her of it. There is nothing you can do to change her, so please just do your own as you can afford. She can never appreciate you. Relate with her from afar. God’ll strength you…amen

  • Maybe she nt ur biological mum bt whatever pls dnt allow ur child to go thru what u went thru pls protect ur child is ur responsibility

  • Sometimes it does happens. some parents sometimes takes their fustrations on their children. it could be that your dad disappointed her so badly and she sees your dad in you. It is well,just keep on being kind to him and pray for him.

  • Ur job is to protect your daughter from the monster you call a mother, im passed at you for sending ur daughter to her, pls take ur child away from her and avoid her till she repents

  • I will say, leave her alone and move on, continue asking God to touch her spirit man. But do that from a distance, this is too much humiliation. If she turns around tomorrow and remembers she’s wronged you in several levels, fine if not move. But don’t hold any grudges against her. But stay clear off her way.

  • dont think she is your biological mum… probably ur dad had u out of wedlock before getting married to her.. please avoid her,as she is nt even useful to u

  • Ur mother is some thing else pls take ur daughter from her and distance ur self from her if u have little give her if u don’t ve don’t kill ur self

  • Dear poster, I would advise you keep a distant from her with ur child. I can tell u categorically that same is applicable to me and I decided to keep a distance when I noticed my son complains whenever we visit my mum, we have same story. Be first before it start affecting your child’s self esteem. Its so pathethic that at a point while growing up under her roof I did d unexpected of a girl child to survive to university in which it made me got married early.act fast. Note: my mum and are separated, they are both learned intact educationists. But have always stayed firm to be successful in life against all odds, most times I find it difficult call or appreciate her as a mother…..Life was Hell with. But with God on my side I will get there. She’s already talking my siblings against me. Dear poster, Act fast be far from her and pray well.

  • Stay far away from her. Keep your daughter away before she traumatise the poor child. I don’t think that woman is your biological mom

  • From the story, it sounds like your mom had you for your dad, married or unmarried, but she was not living with your dad when you were growing up, that’s why she can tell you at twelve to ” go to your father”. Obviously the two younger ones are very much younger than you, I guess from a different father who you said passed on recently. With all these, I sense an anger coming from an end of r/ship with your dad, and you are a product of that r/ship. You remind her so much of him, and she doesn’t want to ever remember that. Your mom needs healing of her soul and spirit. She needs counseling. She’s walking in unforgiveness. You need to pray for her and forgive her from your heart. Keep your distance but help her bcos of God. I believe if you keep praying for her deliverance someday she’ll be a changed woman. It’s not easy but God will help you.

  • Wow at Oghene you took the words out of my mouth@d writter your mom hates your Dad and what he represents in her life, that is why u r suffering, but she need serious counselling to get rid if this anger and remember that you are, her flesh and blood.this anger is also affecting her life, she need to clense her sekf of this bitter ness to be able to live a fulfilling life.may God help her thats all I can say, she needs prayers and counselling .forgive her and understand her pains, show her love and get help for her if you must.

  • Pls stay away from her nd it’s Vry gud of u to have taken back ur daughter from her she will nt stop abusing her. Those kind of people can never change!

  • So sorry for this. I think ur mum had u out of wedlock and ur dad didn’t marry her so anytime she sees u, she gets really angry . I think u should distance urself from her

  • You and your daughter should stay clear from her. Ignore her totally and let her struggle for herself and kids.
    Any day she comes around tell her to show you your father?

  • In my own option I will advice you to let your mum be.like you adoving her…but if she needs your assistant do assist her in any way you can.because they are some things one can’t never change in life attitude of another person.

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