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Dear MIMsters: Am I A Gold Digger to Ask My Husband For This?

I sincerely need advice and your readers opinion on this issue in my marriage as my husband has called me a gold digger.

My hubby wants me to join him in his business but has refused to pay me an allowance or should I call it a salary. So, I declined and insisted that he pays me the sum of about 30k before I commit myself to his business.

I made this decision because of the so many bad experiences that I have had in this marriage for 10 years. He stopped me from running my own business that I have a passion for and threatened me with divorce if I disobeyed, so I obeyed.

SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Think I Have Endured Enough and Deserve to Have a Divorce

Yet, he’s not generous towards me but only gives me money for what I need and I’m ashamed to say I (almost 40 yr old) but do not have a savings. He knows and likes it that way.

I don’t feel financially secure in the marriage. He opened a life insurance for himself and education for his kids but none for me. I know he’s very buoyant. He also has workers who are secondary school leavers that he pays more than 30k.

I feel I deserve it as a finance graduate but he’s seriously angry now and calling me all sorts of names, saying that I’m a gold digger and love money too much.

Am I wrong to make such demand?

3 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Am I A Gold Digger to Ask My Husband For This?”
  • No you are not wrong. At almost 40, you need financial security, I mean what if something happens to him tomorrow? How do you women stay married to men that treat you like crap? How can a man threaten you with divorce? And you obliged him? You stopped your life to save your marriage, yet you are treated like this.

  • Hmmmmn most pettyy men are intimidated and scared of an independent strong woman…go get urself a job

  • Are you a gold digger? I would not have a clue. There are two sides to every story. Stop asking for opinions that might justify your sense of victimhood. Go get a job and your own bank account. Perhaps even start that business up if you have the gumption. You can also just get a divorce, take half, and move on. Be warned though, if your husband is not loaded, you will most likely have to get a job after divorcing.
    You want a 30k sign on bonus? That is almost unheard of unless one has mad skills, intellect, experience, etc. Why don’t you separate money from the equation of your relationship. Go get a job or zip it.

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