Dear MIMSters: I Long To Be Accepted By My Mother But She Wants Something Else

I long to be accepted by my mother but she would rather I continue to claim we are sisters. My grandma, her own mom, has been father and mother to me all my life and it hurts so much knowing that I have a mother who chose marriage over me.

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I will try to summarize my story so that I do not bore you.

Grandma, as a single young girl, got involved with a married politician. One thing led to the other, and she became pregnant. The man settled her with lots of money and cut all ties with her because of his legal wife.

Grandma, according to her story, though sad, got settled with lots of money and properties and she told her parents the man responsible for her pregnancy was dead. She also told them she never met any of his relatives. She moved away from where her family was based and relocated to another state. There she had my mother and raised her with her maiden name till she in turn became pregnant while in secondary school.

I was denied by my father and Grandma became saddled with raising me like she did my mother. I grew up thinking she was my mother until my supposed mother brought a man home to introduce to her. She also introduced me to the man as her younger sister. Afterwards, I overheard her arguing with Grandma and I moved closer to eavesdrop.

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That day, I found out about my true identity. I confronted grandma afterward and she told me the whole truth but said I had to keep it to myself because my mother does not want the man she wants to marry to know I was her daughter.

She got married some months later and moved out leaving me with Grandma. I felt rejected but I couldn’t let Grandma know so that I wouldn’t hurt her feeling.

My mother gave birth to other children but I have no relationship with them. Whenever they visited Grandma, they related with me like I was their aunt and nothing more. My mother also keeps up with the act that we are sisters. We both bear Grandma’s maiden name as our last names and that makes it easy for everyone to take us for sister.

I wish to be identified as her daughter but Grandma says I can’t have that. This makes me sad. Am I wrong to long for my mother to identify me as her daughter and not her sister?

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