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Dear MIMsters: I Don’t Know What To Do About This Dicey Situation With My Husband

The situation I find myself in with my husband is so dicey that I don’t know what to do about it.

I dated my husband for 2 years before we got married. In those 2 years, we have been exclusive but I have never been pregnant.

After we got married, and we had no issue, I went to a hospital to see a gynecologist who thinks I may have PCOS because I’m a bit overweight and I have never been pregnant before (even though I had a normal regular monthly cycle).

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My husband didn’t encourage me to go see a specialist but told me to wait till God’s time. I did a series of tests and when it was my husband’s turn to do a semen fluid analysis, he refused. I had to plead and plead. Later, he confessed to me that because he has led a very bad and dangerous life in the past, he was afraid that he may have a problem due to clubbing, alcohol, drugs and sleeping around. He became born again before we met though.

I discarded the idea that he’s infertile and told him that I know that I am the one who is infertile as I have never been pregnant before even in my previous relationship. I did Thyroid profile, Hormonal profile, Pelvic scan, HVs and HSG tests and all the results showed that I am perfectly OK. We found out that my husband is actually the one who has low sperm count of 1 million and a sperm motility of 0%.

I felt pained after having spent 65k alone on tests, while begging my husband to go for his own test and going through the pains of HSG only to find out that I am fine. The doctor gave me some drugs for my husband and we have used them but there has been no positive result.

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Meanwhile, my husband has refused to go for another test. He says that the previous result wasn’t his. Now, he has told me to go look for another man who can get me pregnant, while he goes back to his ex to get her pregnant, so I can be sure that there is nothing wrong with him.

Later, he told me that it was just a joke but I can see through Facebook that he and his ex are arranging to meet. When confronted, he told me that the meeting is to discuss something else. We are core believers but this case is so dicey and personal to me that I can’t tell our pastors to help me talk to him.

Please tell me, what can I do about this? I am so depressed, broke, sad and disappointed.

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