Dear MIMsters: What Could Mr. B Who Lives Abroad Be Hiding From Me?

I traveled to my village for something, and there, I met a man who collected my number and said he will give it to his boss who lives abroad.

That same day, the boss called me and we introduced ourselves to each other. We come from the same town but from different villages. He asked me about my educational background, what I do for a living, where I am based, and if I am in any relationship.

I told him, yes, that I am in a relationship with Mr. A who is also based abroad. I have never met Mr. A, it was a friend who introduced me to him.

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Mr. B started calling every day. During our conversation on the third day, he told me he likes the way I talk, laugh and so many things and for this, he wants me to drop Mr. A. I told him I need to see his commitment first because we have just met and he said that he likes me a lot and wants to marry me. I told him to give me time to end it with Mr. A.

I forwarded Mr. A and B’s names to two of my Pastors to pray. The two pastors replied after prayers that I should go for Mr. B, so, I ended it with Mr. A.

Mr. B was happy when I ended the relationship with Mr. A, he told me he doesn’t want to share me with any man. He has asked me on two occasions to go collect money from his staff. There was this day we were talking and he was telling me about his investments, I told him all I need is a peaceful home and he was glad about my response.

One day, we were discussing, and out of the blues, he asked his daughter to say hello to aunty (me). Later, I asked him to explain the surprise and he said that he has two daughters. I was not aware of this. I only know that he was married to a white woman and they are divorced.

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Then, I asked him to tell me what happened between him and their mother (white woman) and he refused.

I returned to my base and three days after, he called and asked, “you are enjoying your base?” I said, yes. I didn’t hear from him for five days, so, I called him. As we got talking, again, he said, “you are enjoying your base.” And I responded, yes.

Days later, I called him to ask if something is wrong because he has stopped calling the way he did when I was in the village. He repeated the same, “you are enjoying your base.” He also said that he is busy with work that he’s standing in for his colleague who is not around.

I told him that if I had known the nature of his job and his schedule, I would know when to call him. Then he sounded angry and rude, which he’s been doing easily these days.

I told him, “you know almost everything about me but I don’t know the necessary things I need to know about you. Like the nature of your job and what happened between you and your ex-wife. What will I tell my family if they ask me these two questions? That I ended it with Mr. A without knowing more about you?”

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He got more upset and asked why I brought Mr. A into this matter. I apologized and the next thing he said was, if he marries me, I will be living in the village to look after his investments. (The village is a capital of one of the states in the east and it is well developed). He said that he would call me the following day to get my final answer and he ended the call.

He didn’t call for some days, so I called him. He saw my call and called back. He said again, “you’re enjoying your base,” and then I asked him, “do you have an issue with my base? Tell me! While I stayed for one month in the village, our conversation was always sweet but for two weeks since I returned, I don’t understand what is happening.”

I asked him if he would have preferred for me to stay back in the village. (His staff did ask me to stay back that I can live in one of his houses but I said no, that he has not paid my dowry yet.)

Mr. B told me that I just am looking for issues where there is none. I asked him if I have offended him in any way and he said, no. Then, “why are you giving me this attitude,” I asked. He said we are not yet married and I am behaving this way, that means if he marries me, it will be worse.

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I asked him, “how?” And he said that I am giving him negative vibes. I said, “please tell me the negatives vibes.” He said nothing.

I said, “this is the second time you are saying, ‘if you marry me’ and all that, please since this is not what you want, let’s end it. It is not a do or die affair.”

He ended the call and called back a little later. This time, his voice was very calm and he asked, “did you say we should end the relationship?”

I said, “yes, since I am not what you want.” He said it came from me and not from him and he will call me some other time. I said ok and he ended the call.

It has been eight days since. My friend said I should call him and try to also call the staff that introduced me to him. I don’t know if that would be the wise thing to do.

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