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Been Pregnant Three Times For Him, Yet He Won’t Marry Me

Been Pregnant Three Times For Him, Yet He Won’t Marry Me

I am confused and need mature advice.

I have been in an exclusive relationship with this man that I love so much and I know he loves me too or so I thought. He has been there for me more than I can count. The problem is I am now pregnant for him, and this is the fourth time. I have been impregnated by him three times but aborted all three.

When I told him that I was pregnant again, at first, he said he would go and discuss with his uncle so we can start our wedding plans (he’s an orphan). Later, he told me his uncle has refused to come see my parents with him because of our religious differences.

His mother’s side of the family according to him would not be present without at least someone from his father’s family being present. He’s a Muslim and I am a Christian. He said he would go to his uncle twice after the first visit and if by the third visit he maintains he cannot be present, he would make a decision.
Now, he’s stopped picking my calls and would not reply my messages.

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This morning I called him and he said, “if you decide to keep the pregnancy, its your business. I will not say or do anything”.

I have cried my eyes out since he made that statement. I do not want to go through the pain and rejection. Meanwhile, the partners in the firm I work in are very conservative. I know they cannot fire me for getting pregnant but they can certainly make the next 7 months difficult for me. People are very judgemental. I know this for a fact because the same thing happened to a lady in my office. Please advice me, I am so disturbed .

View Comments (18)
  • This is a very delicate and sensitive issue and I feel for u..was in ur shoe 3 yrs ago,my parents were not in support of my fiance cos of financial status but still kept seeing him,got pregnant during my service year for him,he was jobless and just got admission to pursue his masters,I made up my mind to keep the pregnancy,wasn’t easy tho,my parents didn’t know till I put to bed,even had an emergency CS,they insisted I come bak home,had to endure shame,ridicule from all,but my son is 2 years now and he rocks my world!abortion is a sin,pray to God to touch his heart,and keep the baby,it might not be easy,but it will be worth it!

    • its a different case ma, your man stood by you and supported you but in this case its obvious the man does not want her. i don’t understand what you mean by “HE LOVES YOU” when he keeps telling you to have an abortion, will he tell his daughter to do such, well i think he has written boldly in red paints on a white wall that he is not interested so i don’t know what other advice you need. sometimes we women are the cause of the issues we have in our marriages, if you get married to such guy what better treatment can you expect after you marry him.

  • d guy is not ready. forget victimisation from work go ahead and have ur baby. forget about the man marrying u. he didn’t want to tell u straight to abort so that if anything happens he won’t b held reliable. be wise

  • Please if u know u are capable of taking care of d unborn child on urown u can leave it.. I don’t advice u go for an abortion again and he finally comes back don’t go to him again. U are a daughter of light maintain ur stand in God then pray and ask fort his mercy. I wish u d best of luck.

  • Sweet heart, first I am not blaming you for anything because it can happen to anyone. But first, go right now to God in prayer to forgive you and show you the way forward. You know what? If is his uncles that is the case I bet you is no issue at all as far as Jehovah is concerned. Remember when Daniel was thrown to the lions, they became his friends and he used them as pillows – yes I mean sleeping with his head on them. Pick up seven days prayer – morning, noon, evening and night please do not fast, call on Jehovah Jireh – the impossibility specialist to not to put you to shame. Tell Him to turn His eyes of mercy toward you that every harden heart against your marriage will melt and they will be looking for you like yesterday and the marriage holds. God bless you – I will be placing a petition for you right in the shrine of St. Jude Theadeus patron of difficult of cases I promise you will write us in thanksgiving with your marriage invitation.

  • I believe the man is not interested in marrying you, he has just being playing you all this while, all that excuse about is uncle are all lies. A man that really loves you and wants you for keeps will not ask you to abort three times, just know that he is done with you. Move on with your life if you are capable of taking care of the child all by yourself then keep the baby if not then do the needful.

  • First of all, ladies, practising birth control when in a relationship cannot be over emphasised. It’s your body, your future and therefore your decision. And when a guy is okay with you doing an abortion once and then twice, with no concrete plans for marriage, please breakup as quickly as you can. He doesn’t want to marry you so don’t waste your time or body on him.
    That being said, you are pregnant again and he still doesn’t want to marry you. Realize he doesn’t want to marry you and he never had plans to marry you. Remove him from any plans or decisions you have. You need to think about yourself and unborn child now. If you decide to keep the baby, you nid to consider the ffing. How are ur finances? Is there any1 to help u after the birth? Will u live alone or get a maid or stay with family? Can u handle the emotional and psychological demands of single parenthood? You will face shame, ridicule and victimisation yes, but if you make up ur mind to have the baby, it can be done. And just having the child, the love and joy they bring makes it all worth it.
    I personally will not advise anybody to terminate because of the risks and the guilt that comes with it.
    Whatever your decision I’d advise you to locate a Bible believing church and get right with God. Renew your mind and change your decision making process. You didn’t suddenly land in this situation, it took you a series of bad judgements and decisions to get here so you must change the process by which you make decisions. For both yourself and if you decide to keep the pg, for your baby.
    God bless you.

  • Nne u need to wise up jaree and stop getting pregnant anyhow for a man who is yet to marry you. See hw u r saying we aborted it as if he went to the abortion table with you. If u like Kip aborting till u lose ur life

  • That man doesn’t love you like you say. I think you should have your baby to avoid that guilt you feel afterwards.

  • My dear,abortion is a sin in d sight of god.keep the baby,and if after having d baby u see DAT u cannot take care of d baby,take d baby to motherless babies home,they also help in taking care of baby until d mother of d baby is mature enough financially to take care of d baby.one of such motherless babies home who renders such help is Hephzibah motherless babies home at aradagun in Badagry here in Lagos.trace den and discuss wt dem.they HV help so many young mothers in d past and dey r still helping more young mothers.ur child is or pride tomorrow o.pls and pls don’t abort dis baby again.I wish u safe delivery in Jesus name.

  • Plz try to keep the baby I believe God will see u thru no matter the intimidation from people just be courageous. It is well wit u

  • please keep your baby, he never loved you. he ‘s just a user. Come back to Jesus, Ask for forgiveness and he’ll sort things out. please keep the baby, God loves you, he’ll sort you out.

  • He isn’t that into you anymore, maybe cos his uncle or other family members have talked him into not marrying you any longer due to religious beliefs, or anything else. Difficult as it is, keep your baby, stop having abortions please. You have a job, take care of yourself and your baby, if it gets to tedious you can start a business. You must realize that jobs come and go, people switch careers/businesses, but you can’t do this with kids. There are people who give up their jobs in the course of seeking for the fruit of the womb, some experience multiple miscarriages and eventually resort to bed rest but bounce back to work after a while. Please stop destroying your womb over a guy. Get serious with your life/health.

  • Dear Poster, you are so funny o. you allowed yourself to get pregnant three times and three times you aborted it please deactivate the mumu button and start taking responsibilities for uur actions. when a man is not ready he will you a thousand excuses. ‘ve u ever sat down and ask yourself dat the abortion might affect you in the future coupled with the fact that it’s a sin. Thank God you are working. leave your co workers dey are the least of your problems. concentrate on your work and ur pregnancy. God will see you thru. and to single ladies out God gave we ladies instincts to know right from wrong but we allowed ourselves to be manipulated by the guys bcos of their selfish interest.

  • go nd abort it nd go bk to him,so dat he wil
    impregnant u d forth time dan abort it again nd go for d fifth time who knws by den he wil convince his uncle.u ar lucky u ar stil alive,u ar fallin wit a muslim,people dat dnt no any tyn abt feels.my dear pls dnt mind me jst dat am nt happi wit u cos u dnt respect ur feelns,he knws his uncle is nt in support of it he is busy playin wit u feelns.quit or u dyin tryin as much as i cn tell i see no future in dat sexual relation.

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