Dear MIMsters: Is this Man Worth Spending The Rest Of My Life With?

Is this man worth spending the rest of my life with?

I met my hubby 4 years ago through a friend. He already had a son with another woman when he was studying in the United States. According to him which I confirmed from a friend, they were no longer together. When I met him, he explained everything to me, and said he wanted to start a new life with me. He planned coming back home after his programme, which he did.

Before coming back home, he sent money to secure an apartment and told me to go and meet his family. I was well received by his brother and other family members as his mother and father are late. Altogether, we courted for a year before our wedding, part of which he was out of the country.

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When he returned, we started life as a new couple, had our official introduction and marriage registry. We intended doing our Nikkai but due to some challenges and his ability to secure a job, we decided to keep it on hold.

To be candid, I made up my mind to get married to him not just because of his  money. I don’t even see him as a rich man. He has never once gave me pounds. When I met him, I’d just had my heart broken by a boyfriend of ten years. He impregnated someone else his father insisted he married.

When hubby came into my life, I thought I had met the right person. He is educated,  has a degree and other professional courses I see as an edge. The problem started when I got pregnant. His attitude changed. He started locking his phones, no longer gives me attention. Initially, I thought it was the pregnancy. During that period, one day, he returned home, dropped his laptop bag, and went to use the toilet. While he was in there, his phone rang. I opened his bag to find used condom with toilet roll. I was devastated. I cried throughout the night.

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He begged me. Told me that it was his colleague who left it in his bag. He’s a lecturer. I tried to control my anger because of my pregnancy. After I put to bed for almost a year, he made no attempt to sleep with me. I was forced to tell my mum, asking her if this is how it is done.  My mum called him to order. He said that he was scared of another pregnancy. But same thing happened again. Six month later, I saw used condom in his bag. Yet again, he pleaded that it won’t repeat itself again.

To cut the story short, things started getting back to normal. Our child is close to three years now. My parents called him to come and do my Nikkaih before I get pregnant again.  Plans are underway for the ceremony which is planned to hold in less than 5 months. 3 days ago, I saw another used condom and used toilet roll in his bag again.

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This time, my mum was around. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I burst into tears. My mum rushed into our room to find out what was wrong. I started parking my things to leave the house. My mum has been pleading and crying for me to forgive him as he has promised it won’t happen again. I am the only child of my mum from a polygamous family. My question is this man worth spending the rest of my life with?