When baby fever strikes, it’s so easy to forget about sorting out the nuts and bolts of becoming parents. So, here is a short list of key conversations to have before the 40-week countdown begins.
1. The Big One
Sure, your friends may all be having babies – but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to. First and foremost you have to ask: Do both of you really want to be parents and how many kids you’ll both like to have irrespective of their sexes. Some husbands hold grudges against their wives for getting pregnant without their consents or having more kids than they initially planned.
While you don’t have to start saving for University (yet!), it’s a good idea to talk about financial issues everything from just how much you’ll be shelling out for your tiny new housemate. Couples should decide how fees will be funded when their child starts school, to whether they can afford for mum to stay at home and how finances will be shared in the home.
Before becoming pregnant, couples should discuss family medical history from both sides. Genetic disorders and diseases can affect a developing baby. Even if you’ve been together for what seems like forever, it’s time to talk STDs and maybe get re-tested. And reach out to parents and other family members for the lowdown on any family health issues. As Africans, knowing your genotype is paramount to knowing what risks you will be taking with sickle sell.
Coming up with shared parenting values can help prepare you for things to come. Playing the what if game for a year before deciding to have a child together? What if he wants to openly have sex in our house when he’s only 18? What if she wants to be a model when she’s 12? What religion we’d raise our child in? (might be a no brainer in the Nigerian context). You don’t have to make all of your decisions now (there’ll be plenty of time to stress later–woo hoo!), but it’ll be helpful to get a sense of your partner’s take on parenting…even fun.
No matter how many books or blogs you read about parenthood, the sheer amount of change once a baby makes his debut is usually quite a shock for couples. Have a good heart-to-heart (if not two!) about everything from extended family involvement (not mentioning any names
motherinlaw), to the fact that you two are going to have less time for each other. Strengthen your relationship now, and once the baby’s here, you’ll be much more prepared to weather the new episode of your lives together.
Source: Yahoo Shine