Should I Continue To Support My Slobby Husband Just To Be Called A Virtuous Woman?
I read on this page some days back about a woman who supported her hubby while he was jobless until he finally got something. Everyone was full of praises for this virtuous woman. Don’t get me wrong, I think she did a great thing too. But we need to look at other scenerios too.
I believe most women would also support their man if he has a vision without employment. Here’s my own story…
3 months after my wedding to my baby daddy, I found out my hubby had been sleeping with my baby sister. I was so devastated that I packed my bags and left to stay with a friend. Unfortunately, she was out of job and couldn’t cater for us. I also discovered that I was almost 3 months pregnant already. I couldn’t go back to my home cause my sister had already given them the impression that my hubby raped her, so they wanted nothing to do with me either. I had just relocated to Lagos after the wedding, so was still jobless. Thus, when the burden got too much for my friend financially and after several begging from hubby and his family, I decided to go back.
Big mistake! Two months later, he lost his job and 3 and half years later, he’s still jobless. I was able to secure a job while still pregnant and since then I have been the one providing virtually every single need in my house, from rent to fees.
I wouldn’t have complained if I have seen this man actually make the effort to either find something to do or hustle for his family. Rather, all he does most times is sleep most if the day and snores till 12 noon, watch movies, play video games or mess around with my maids. It’s not like he even acknowledges my existence emotionally, no, we are two strangers in one house. He has put on some much weight, started smoking heavily which have all contributed to making him look less attractive to me, so our sex life is a zero as well.
I have become an emotional wreck, depressed, working myself to a pulp to provide for my home, and he doesn’t even appreciate this. I have contemplated divorce but worried about how it would affect my 2 kids, but then I don’t also want them growing up to see their dad this way or emulate his lifestyle. So please dear mothers how can I support a man like this? I don’t even need to bring in any third party cause everyone who comes to my house meets my hubby fast asleep and still snoring even at Ipm!
So, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
I would have left his ass that time I got to know he slept with my sister. I mean what sort of disrespect is that? Smh. Please leave his sorry ass.
Cheating can be acceptable in some situation but cheating with a close friend or relative is a no no. I suggest u separate for a while and try to conc on training your kids else u are going to be drained n left with nothing for yourself. He wasn’t ready for commitment. Your mistake
Lord have mercy
Hmmm
You should have left before now, from your write up, he is not ready to change, maybe if you leave he will come to his senses and make amend
Please leave his sorry ass, what’s that all about.
Am walking away
i will advice separation pending when he is able get on his feet and get a job and become mote responsible.
I will advice separation for now and c if he will wake up from his slumber
He’s messing with your maids and you’re asking what one would have done,.. ok o! Wait until he impregnates them then you’d be the one to cater for all the babies and their moms. Some hubby’s are not worth the fight, yours isn’t as well. Move on!
séparation for now till he comes around. wen hunger strike him he go work mtchew
Madam please rent an apartment and move out with your kids.That man is not fit to be called a husband or daddy.1Tim 5:8
you hit the nail on the head, even the bible said it. please move on you only know where it hurts so please leave him and focus on your kids. your knight in armor could still be out there
Dear friend, pls move out of that house at temporarily, say 6 months and see what he can do to help himself. By giving him bread and butter for three and a half years free of charge, you have contributed to making him complacent too.
A responsible man should be able to take care of his responsibility. take care of urself and kids.
pls move out from dat cell u call a house, taking care of ur kids are ur ego my dear.
That’s not marriage my dear but prison
He is irresponsible. i dont know if he still cheat on you but to be playing video games when there are bills to pay is unbelievable. getting fat on you…he definitely has friends who can assist him, so he has to get his fat ass of those settee and do something or lady ignore him and focus on your kids.
This is one side of the story. Though I do not support him one bit – he is utterly irresponsible to have gone after your sister but what drove him to it? You see, most of the time you women do not understand that for a man to start mis-behaving, especially close home, there is usually an under-lying fault from the woman, from the man’s point of view. So, I will ask you Madam, what drove him to this point? According to you, he had been sleeping with your sister, not that he raped her, they were having consensus intimacy. So, where were you all these while? Was he or has he always been this irresponsible? My candid advise is you do a bit of a soul searching: what did you do wrong? What aspect of this situation is down to you that you can remedy? From your tone, you are pissed off with him because he is not willing to get up and get going and provide for the family, and less because of what had happened. If that’s the case, then I will advise you focus on this and sort this out. Best approach is to look for his very close friend and get him involved. Please DO NOT listen to those saying you should leave your home. Everyone, including those advising that you pack and leave, have one form of marital challenge or the other they are nursing. Thank you.
how do i write my story
please those saying day the woman should do a soul search for herself should stop. I know Of. many stupid men who r gud at dat despite their wifes beauty, virtue, n watever u can think of. I dnt want to say much cos this is a social media.
woman God isn’t against divorce based on adultery OK? so leave b4 u die. my aunt was a victim, despite all advice to leave d house she refused n painfully, she left in corpse. May her case nt be urs.
I appreciate the godly advice given by women in d house. Separation is not divorce. Pls leave that man for a while. Let him find his footing and be a man again. Don’t forget to pray for him everyday. U can go to your relations, his or stay with a responsible friend that will act as a chaperone to you,so that you won’t be tempted to commit adultery. God is your strength.
Just like Cynthia said, separation is not divorce, leave him for a while nd let him come back to his senses, some men are like dat once d wife is bringing food, they are sure good to eat nd sleep, crack unnecessary jokes, tie towels frm morning till wen u get back frm work, they kno all t.v stations offhand. I once kno a woman like dat, d husband said God call him to women ministry, he was using their parlour for prayer for women only, d wife was an auxilliary nurse wit 4 children, ordinary 400 nepa bill, he will ask u to come back wen mummy returns. He went to farm wen d wife left wit 2 of their kids leaving 2 behind.
Keep staying in that hell you call a house until you loose your sanity..why did you even continue staying with him after such a disgraceful act of his?the man is very irresponsible and idiotic..please run for your life.
Pls do what will make u happy. U wear the shoes and you know where it pinches so make sure u consider yourself first before making any decision. You are what matters here. U can’t be carrying so much load yet u are not happy.let him move on also
Dear friend,
From the tone of your write up, u are pissed off and angry…
I would have advised you to leave asap, but no
Control your anger ad remember the good old days
2. The last I checked, our mothers have been bread winners in most homes, the pay rent, build houses, cloth both hubby ad children, pay school fees ad other bills ad etc
3. Most couples have ad nurse quietly their difference ad mak the world think all is perfect, most are experiencing worst challenges sef
4. Proverb 31, the bible never gave those qualities to any man, bcus God had known the weak aspect of every man right from creation
5. sis, take away anger and think twice, there are some matters that u don’t seek a third party advice or public opinion… let them just guide u.
It is only u who can advise urself when it comes to matter of the heart..
When all seems impossible, I will introduce u to something called PRAYERS, I know it works, others who have tried using it have testified too
U are not in this alone… try to pray and be honest in ur supplication
Try watching this movie called WAR ROOM. If it doesn’t have any effect on you. Go ahead and separate for a little while. All the best.