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Dear MIMsters: My husband is not good in bed and he knows it

Dear MIMsters: My husband is not good in bed and he knows it

I am 29, my hubby is 35 and we’ve been married for 4 years and have 2 kids. My husband is a very good man and has been so kind to me and my family. My problem is he’s not good in bed and he knows it.

Earlier in the marriage, I thought I could deal with it but things changed and I started complaining. We talked a lot and decided to seek help but he became reluctant later. He could enter me when I’m completely dry, and I end up getting bruised. Other times, he could come barely seconds into the action.

I decided not to complain again but to bear with him and equally started developing interest in watch porn so to satisfy myself cos it’s something he never does. I became addicted to it and decided to tell him what was happening to me. He felt bad but still didn’t improve. I then made up my mind to stop watching porn. It was very difficult but I was very determined to stop. It became my prayer topic. And God being so good. I was able to overcome it.

My issue now is, hubby still doesn’t satisfy me. Not like he was a virgin when we met, so he’s not quite new to it. I try to look my best, I keep myself very neat and presentable and try to look a bit seductive but it never arouses him. I’ve caught him once having a sex chat with a lady but he claimed he never did anything with her.

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I like sex so I don’t always wait for him to initiate it. At times I just want us to lie in bed without nothing happening. Just cuddle in bed but that too is a problem. So I would rather be the one to wrap myself around him. Please what do I do cause I’m becoming fed up. We have talked severally about it. He promises to work on it but he doesn’t. I don’t know what to do again. I need your advice…


View Comments (11)
  • Buy books on these issues read together and then practice. If indeed there is any secret he is hiding, tell him not to worry you will be there for him, he should open up to U……….Above all be patience with him

  • I don’t know a man that doesn’t like sex, it’s either he’s getting it somewhere else or he’s not really into you.

  • I think you should(during action) tell him(and direct his hand) what to do, where to touch and how to satisfy you.

  • My dear you can’t have it all, evey marriage has it’s problems, you want to have a good responsible husband that is also good in bed? First, you need to find out if he has a secret sex life/orientation that you don’t know about. If this is not his problem then you can both work on improving it. Let him know how important satisfying you in bed is to you and how you are getting frustrated. Another thing you should know is that what you watch in pornography films hardly happen in real life and most women hardly come. Find out what he can do to make you have organism, discover your g-spot and let him stimulate you till you come. You can also buy sex toys and use them together. May For help you

  • Visit @ointimatesecrets on Instagram.. She is a relationship and sex therapist. If your husband isn’t looking for solution, look for it for him. Sex is very important in marriage

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