Dear MIMsters: After What I’ve Been Through, Should I Listen to My Mum or Go With My Heart?

My story is long but I will try to make it short. I have been through so much.

Growing up was so hard for me since I lost my father at a tender age. I was 8 when my father died. Since then, things have been very hard for us and my mum who has been our sole provider, without any help from relatives.

While growing up with this hardship, I fell into the hands of a guy when I was 17. I was lured because he was giving me money. The first time we had sex, I became pregnant. I didn’t willingly have sex with him, so that was the only time and last time I had sex with him.

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5 Months later, my mum told me that I was pregnant, while I didn’t even know. My mum had even know earlier but she did not tell me. She said if she had told me, I would have told this guy who could have persuaded me to abort it.

Even though I was still in Secondary School (SS 2), I had no choice than to keep the pregnancy. I gave birth to a boy.

The father of my son and I were in the same class but he left town and never asked about the child.

A year after my WAEC, I fell into another trap and became pregnant again. The guy denied the pregnancy and I was scared to have an abortion, so I kept the baby again.

I had a baby girl this time while her father is now married to another person.

I never wished for all of these to happen to me. You might blame me for this but it is only someone who knows the real meaning of hardship that will understand my story.

After my second child, I decided to move on with my life with the help of my mum. My mum is the one looking after them.

I have started a new life and I am in a relationship with this guy. We’ve been dating for 5 years now and he knows about my past. I didn’t have the courage to tell him at first but I had to as he became serious with me.

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I don’t want to lose this relationship because after all that has happened to me, I deserve some happiness even if it is little and he gave me that. He accepted and told me to forget about my past. He has introduced me to his mom as his fiancee but asked me not to tell his mom about my past.

Last month, the first guy I had a boy for asked his sister to call me and apologize. She was begging me to forgive him after ten years of not knowing how I have been surviving with the son all these years.

Well, I told her that I have forgiven him but we can’t come back together again and that he should just take up the boy’s responsibilities.

But my mom wants me to go back to him since he is now financially OK and current boyfriend is not. He just completed his NYSC last year and still searching for job and he is the one I love. I don’t think I can cope with someone who left ten years ago and just resurfaced now.

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I don’t even love him and everything that happened between us was because of the money I was getting from him.

I don’t want to hurt this guy who loves me despite been a mother to two children with different fathers. I’m 27 while my current boyfriend is 31. My son is 10 and my daughter is 7.

please help me out,sorry for the long post just want to give the details of what really happened. Even if your advice come with insults I will take it like that.

What if the mother of my current finds out about my past, will she still allow me get married to her son?Or should I obey my mum and go with someone I don’t have feelings for, the father of my son?

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Please advice me as a lot of questions are going through my head right now.