Dear MIMsters: Did I Make the Right Choice Leaving My Son With His Father Given the Circumstances?
Parents reading this, please tell me if I made the right choice given the circumstances.
I have a three-year-old son with a man I’m not married to, and I allowed him go and live with his father and his paternal grandparents. We broke up this year and things have not been easy for either of us. He lost his job two years and it’s been hard getting one as good as the previous one. I have also not been able to secure a job after completing National Youth, Service but I have been holding the fort for us since he lost his job to the support of my family.
His mum has never liked me, she prefers another woman who had kids for him much earlier.
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I recently got a job that is sending me to a village and my mum was ready to help with our son, but his father was not in agreement. He says he doesn’t want to have financial issues with my mum, in case she asks him to send money and does not have at that particular moment.
After several consultations with family and friends, I agreed to let our son go to his dad even though it was only my dad (in my family) and my friends who supported that idea. Now I can’t sleep at night because I have never been away from him and bringing him along to a village won’t be good for him. I feel I should go back for him. I agreed to let him go to his dad in the first place because father and son had been separated a while after the break up.
His grandparents also run a crèche, so he would school for free. Another reason is because the father insists on integrating with his kids at a tender age. I am very afraid and confused because since his mother does not like me, I’m scared she might not care very well for my son and the dad won’t always be around.
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What if I don’t allow me get my son back? I have been praying for him to be safe but I feel like getting on a bus to go for him now even if he has to attend a village school.
What do you all say?
I cannot say I know how you feel or what you going through, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the good of our kids. I think you should let him be with the dad for the now until a better job comes up. I am very sure u don’t want to remain in the village working for too long a time would u?
I would say u go get ur son n drop him off wt ur parents after all dey not in d village