Dear MIMsters: Contrary To Popular Opinion, Marriage Is Beautiful: My Story

Not all men are monsters. Not all men cheat. Contrary to popular opinion, good men still exist.

I have read so many posts/comments about what evil men do to their wives, it’s almost as if all men are terrible. Some people even say “men are like that”. Actually, not all men are “like that”.

I’ve always known that my husband is a good man but reading some posts, I’ve realized that he’s really a wonderful man. I’m not here to advertise my husband after all, his identity is not being revealed. I read a comment saying, “a woman has no say in marriage” as long as the man paid her bride price. This is quite shocking!

My husband doesn’t just carry me along in all he does but leaves most of the decisions to me since I run the home. When our son was about to start school, hubby told me to find a good school for him. I did, and when I was no longer satisfied with the school, I changed to a new school with hubby’s full support.

When it was time to relocate, hubby wouldn’t pay for a new apartment till I saw and liked it. We had to replace the furniture and hubby made sure I was OK before he bought any. I remember him telling the curtain seller, “madam, if my wife said no, then there’s nothing I can do”. I can go on and on. When anyone gives my hubby quotation for anything, he passes it to me for approval. I never asked him to do any of these. He just does. Guess what? He’s the bread-winner.

Some people even believe that men cheat on or maltreat their wives because they “contribute nothing”. I’m sorry for digressing but I want to say that every (good) wife does contribute something, especially if she’s a mother. Money isn’t all there is to marriage. Taking care of the kids, husband and herself is not a Tea Party but let’s leave it for another day. Truth is, whether a woman contributes financially or not, a cheat would still cheat.

Unto mutual respect. My husband treats me with respect and makes his siblings do the same whenever they visit.

I remember when we visited hubby’s family for the first time since we got married. One morning, hubby sent for me. I met him sitting with his parents and siblings. I calmed down since I did nothing wrong and sat beside my hubby who said to me, “we’re having a family meeting so I want you to be here, in case you have something to say.” I was quite surprised. Even his people had surprise looks on their faces but they knew better. If I couldn’t be there, hubby would leave with me so they said nothing.

I know they say, “no man should be trusted”, that may be true but I’ve never had to worry about side chickens because hubby has never given me any reason to be suspicious. In fact, I remember him calling me to come read a chat between him and a female colleague. The woman in question asked him out but he told her that he was married and her reply was, “it doesn’t matter, let’s just be friends first”. Hubby handed me the phone and said “please block and delete her, this is how they start”.

A man would go out and impregnate another woman and you’ll see comments like, “the mistake has been made”. Cheating is never a mistake.

Some men believe that it’s wrong for them to assist their wives with chores after all, they pay the bills. Well, my husband pays the bills and still helps with chores – he does laundry, does dishes, bathes and dresses the big baby for school while I pack his lunch box, helps him with homework, changes the baby’s diaper, etc. Whenever he’s around, he helps.

He returned from an event the other day and started thanking me for taking care of him and the kids. According to him, people told him he’s changed, looks cute and healthy. Hubby thanks me as if I’m the breadwinner. Then he prayed for me, that God should bless me for being a “wonderful wife and mother” to him and the kids.

The following day, he returned him with a gift to appreciate me “for all your efforts”. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect, he has his flaws and I have mine. We have our days. Not long ago he even moved my things from “my room” to the kids room when we had a misunderstanding and told me to “be ready because I’m throwing your things out in the morning.” Days later, he moved my things back and begged me to come back to “our room”. Said he was afraid I’d leave. Now, who threatens his wife with divorce when he knows he doesn’t wanna lose her? Only my hubby would do that. So, we’re not a perfect couple. We’re just two friends who got married and have decided to stay married, act married, love and respect each other and put in our best.

Some people might find this hard to chew but the truth is, good men still exist. I could say so much about my husband but let me stop here. Men who think being the head is being arrogant, controlling and abusive should have a rethink. Men who treat their wives like trash because they pay the bills all are completely ignorant. Sir, what if the tables get turned? Oh, by the way, I’m a full-time housewife, for now.