Woman, Bailey, Who Wrote Her Own Obituary Before Dying Of Cancer Will Remind You To LIVE
When 35-year-old Bailey Jean Matheson found out she had two years to live, she decided to make the most out the time she had left. She wanted others to do the same.
”35 years may not seem long, but damn it was good!” So begins the now-viral obituary of Bailey Matheson who died on April 5th. The womanâs upbeat tone, young age, poignant life advice and warm messages to her loved ones are garnering lots of attention worldwide.
âDonât take the small stuff so seriously and live a little,â Matheson urges others in her final send-off, where she acknowledged all the people she loved most throughout her life and her diagnosis.
She thanked her parents for giving her âthe greatest giftâ by supporting her decision to refuse chemotherapy, because she wanted to live her life the way she wanted to live her life in the end.
âI always remember my mom saying losing a child would be the hardest loss a parent could go through. My parents gave me the greatest gift of supporting my decisions with not going through chemo and just letting me live the rest of my life the way I believed it should be.
I know how hard that must have been watching me stop treatment and letting nature take its course. I love you both even more for this.â
Matheson, of Canada, also wrote of being an only child, and thanked her friends for being the siblings she never had.
âI’ve always cherished my friendships more than anything because I’ve never had siblings of my own. I never thought I could love my friends more than I did but going through this and having your unconditional love and support you have made something that is normally so hard, more bearable and peaceful.â
“To my Brent,” Matheson wrote to her boyfriend, whom she met just three months prior to her diagnosis. The couple seemingly met on a dating app, as she told him:
“You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you swiped right that day. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to be by my side for all the adventures, appointments, laughs, cries and breakdowns. You are an amazing person and anyone in your life is so fortunate to know you. I love you beyond words.”
Matheson’s friend, Julie Carrigan, told NBC News’ TODAY that Matheson wrote her own obituary because, “She said, âI donât want it to sound like a normal, boring obituary. I want it to be a message to everybody I loved.'”
The illness was âlike a strange blessing in disguise, in a way, because most people just go every day and take it for granted. And when you get diagnosed with something like that, thereâs no taking it for granted anymore. You just do everything you want to do and say everything you want to say,â Carrigan added.
Matheson, according to reports lived a healthy and active life until she began complaining of stomach pain. Doctors were initially unable to diagnose her based on her symptoms, but through an eventual ultrasound and biopsy, they were able to determine it was leiomyosarcoma, a rare cancer that affects smooth muscle tissue.
After a round of radiation failed to shrink her tumor, another surgery was deemed too risky to endure.
Chemotherapy was offered as an option, but knowing she was given two years to live and that it likely wouldnât have saved her life, Matheson ultimately decided to forego it and the side effects that come along with it so she could enjoy what remained of her life.
The exact cause of leiomyosarcoma is unknown, according to the National Organization for Rare Disorders.
âItâs like [winning] a bad lottery,â Carrigan said.
During the last two years of her life, Matheson, who was from Novia Scotia, decided to check some things off her bucket list. It was gathered that Matheson traveled to 13 countries: parts of the U.S., Ireland, England, Norway, Croatia, Montenegro, St. Lucia, Mexico, France, Morocco, Greece, Portugal and Spain. She saw Coldplay, her favorite band, in concert twice.
And, as only a 35-year-old woman who was given precious little time to gain perspective can, Matheson ended her obituary with a good reminder for us all: âDonât take the small stuff so seriously and live a little.â
The emotional obituary reads:
”January 23, 1984 – April 5, 2019. “35 years may not seem long, but damn it was good!” To my parents, thank you for supporting me and my decisions throughout my life. I always remember my mom saying losing a child would be the hardest loss a parent could go through.
My parents gave me the greatest gift of supporting my decisions with not going through chemo and just letting me live the rest of my life the way I believed it should be. I know how hard that must have been watching me stop treatment and letting nature take its course. I love you both even more for this. To my friends, being an only child I’ve always cherished my friendships more than anything because I’ve never had siblings of my own.
I never thought I could love my friends more than I did but going through this and having your unconditional love and support you have made something that is normally so hard, more bearable and peaceful. Thank you and I love you all so much.
To my Brent, you came into my life just three months before my diagnosis. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you swiped right that day. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to be by my side for all the adventures, appointments, laughs, cries and breakdowns. You are an amazing person and anyone in your life is so fortunate to know you. I love you beyond words.
I am survived by my loving parents, Wendy (Foxwell) and Sandy (John Alexander) Matheson; my amazing and caring boyfriend, Brent Andrews and family; my wonderful pets, Rosella, Cat, Peyton (Boo Boo) and Harley; my great group of friends; my Aunt Sharon MacIntyre and family; my Aunt Paulette Novacco and family, and my Uncle Ted Foxwell and family.
I was predeceased by my maternal grandmother, Lillian Clark; paternal grandparents, Elsie (Matheson) MacKenzie and Alex Matheson. Thank you for all the support, donations, fundraisers, food, messages and calls over the past two years. It means the world to me.
A special thank you to my aunts, Sharon and Paulette, for being supportive and thank you to all my doctors, my palliative care team, all my VONs, my social worker, and East Coast Naturolpathic. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Melanies Way or Young Adults Cancer Canada. Details regarding the Celebration of Life will follow at a later date. “Don’t take the small stuff so seriously and live a little.”
