Dear MIMsters: How My Husband Has Made Me A Mentally Deranged Woman
I have been married for a few years now. Since the beginning of our marriage, it’s always been quarrels and arguments. Is there a possibility that a man like my husband can change for the better? He has made me a mentally deranged woman.
My husband is always drifting away from everything I say. Sometimes, when I say to myself that I won’t quarrel, he’ll always find one or two things I said or did to hold on to. In fact, I’m seriously tired of the marriage, as he doesn’t listen to anyone nor take any advice.
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He yells at me over every small issue, and that’s how even talks to me. I have used all the tricks in the books to make my marriage work but it keeps getting worse.
He is too secretive. He has a lot of girls he always chats with but that is not my problem. The issue is his secretive nature is something I can’t deal with. He gets upset when I’m on my own phone whereas he doesn’t give me his time when he’s home.
Whenever we have issues, he threatens to send me out of his house and he keeps insinuating that I am cheating on him with another man. I’m seriously tired of all these as he is pushing me a lot to think of doing things that I don’t want to do.
I have never seen a man who is always getting angry with everything. He gets pissed off with everything and nags a lot. I have tried to talk to people I believe he respects and members of his family and mine, to talk to him. When they do, he will change for one day but will start with his normal behaviour the next day. He bears grudges and keeps malice.
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He has little good sides which include being a good provider. He provides for the home. I just wonder if men like him can still change. No one supports me still being married to him as we haven’t spent one whole month together in peace. He can’t even take a simple joke or have a good moment with me except during sex.
I love him but I don’t know if I can still continue to cope and I don’t know when it will all end. You may ask, “didn’t you see the signs before getting married”? I didn’t see any single sign of this. He presented himself to me as a good Christian but the reverse is what I am witnessing. I only knew him as someone who loves things being done perfectly.
I also noticed that when we got married, his members of his own family avoid visiting him due to this his anger issue. My house is like a war zone. I have prayed and prayed with no good result.
My question is, should I just move on with my life, or is he likely to change his attitude with time? He has really made me mentally deranged. Marriage is indeed an eye-opener.
It’s obviously not working, I think you should take a break
Have you tried seeing a therapist/psychologist?He sounds like he really needs some psychological support. Not everything is addressed by leaving your man. Remember the bible says till death do us part. Try getting him some medical help and you will see the benefits. But all in all you just need to be patient and try not argue with him.I really hope you can get over this situation.