Nigerian On-air personality and mum-of-two, Tolu Oniru -Demuren, better known as Toolz, in a recent chat with BellaNaija’s Damilola discussed what it feels like being a mum and all the joys that come with motherhood.
Being a first or second-time mom can feel overwhelming, beautiful, and incredible all at the same time. New mums navigating their way through pregnancy is one thing, then giving birth, welcoming her baby into the world, and starting a whole new chapter of motherhood.
Speaking of celebrity mums, they are just like any other mums when it comes to caring for their kids. Many of whom are outspoken about their personal lives and others who might prefer to remain private. Beyond the cute photos, we love seeing, we can’t help but be inspired by how they balance it all.
From having to deal with work, late-night sleep to breastfeeding and baby blues, Toolz bares it all in this interview.
You just welcomed another bundle of joy. Going back to the routine of breastfeeding, late-night sleep, and all. How has it been for you?
”It hasn’t been so bad the 2nd time around, I think mainly because I know what to expect now. I just accepted that my sleep pattern would be very different for about 2 to 3 months then things would gradually get better.”
It is common for new moms to go through the baby blues, have you had this at all?
”Absolutely! My sister gave me some amazing advice just before I had my first son. She told me to fiercely protect my mental space. So I’ve done that even better the 2nd time around. I block out anything that would upset me, stay completely away from people and situations that don’t align with my energy.
I did have a few melancholic moments after having my son, but I think that was down to the current situation with Covid and not having a lot of contact with people. Unfortunately, my mum wasn’t able to come with me this time.”
What are things you liked from how your parents raised you (and want to repeat)?
”I loved that my parents raised us to be self-sufficient. My dad (may he rest in peace) always said it’s fine to have help in the house but make sure you can do everything they do for you. So both my parents taught me how to cook.”
And What are some things you absolutely do not want to repeat?
”I would have liked to have a more intimate relationship with them. More ‘I love yous’, more hugs and more one-on-one time.”
One baby-sleep tip that you swear by!
”This is a tip I got from my sister-in-law, and it has worked for both my sons. When it’s night time, I put them on their bellies, it makes them sleep longer and gives me a chance to rest.
Very important to make sure there’s nothing on the bed that can obstruct baby’s breathing – so no pillows, cuddly toys and make sure the baby’s head is safe to the side too. I would watch and constantly check on them before sleeping.”
Do you feel guilty when you have to step out leaving your child behind? How do you deal with it?
”Absolutely. I hate leaving my babies! I just make sure they are with someone I trust, and I call and Video call to check constantly.”
What are your red lines of parenting? What is absolutely ok/not ok for your child to do?
”We think the occasional spanking is fine, but there’s absolutely no need to leave a mark on your child. We’re also against demeaning behaviour and name-calling.”
What are your values as parents?
”Love, love and more love. We do our best to make sure our boys feel loved. That’s so important to us. We hug, kiss and tell them we love them every day so they grow up never doubting that. There’s a lot more to it of course, but that’s the most important for us.”