Dear MIMsters: How Do I Save My Marriage, My husband, nd My Family?

I’m married to a man I dated for 8 years. Our marriage is 7 months old now but all hasn’t been going on well between my husband and my family. This is making my husband act and treat me badly, especially when my family issues arise. He even threatens to end our marriage because of this.

My husband was helping my brother to type his wedding program just as he did ours, to help reduce expenses when my father instructed my husband to follow his family bus without first dialoguing with my husband or asking if it will be favourable to us.

This happened barely a month after we got married. My husband told my dad that it won’t be possible because he was typing my brother’s program and was to give the printer the following morning. My dad told my husband that if that’s the case, my husband should allow me to follow my extended family’s bus but I refused because I wanted to follow my husband. I knew that was what would please my husband. I’m married now and shouldn’t still be controlled by my dad. And that was our first outing ever. I knew following my husband was the best decision.

My dad is highly disciplined and wants to continue even after I’m married and also extend it to my husband. He also instructed my sister’s husband to do the same and he obliged. So now, there’s a comparison that my sister’s husband is humble while mine is proud and arrogant. Meanwhile, these are two different men.

When we got to the venue, my husband and I went to greet my father. I knew my dad won’t answer me because I had disobeyed him but I never thought that my dad would ignore my husband’s greetings in the presence of so many people. This got my husband so angry to date. There are many other things that happened after this.

For example, my parents call me to come and cook, do this or that for them, even now that I’m married.
So, my husband is saying that my family doesn’t respect him. Because of that, he doesn’t want my family around him, that my family should steer clear from his family and allow us to grow as the family that we’re now. He has since then refused to go and see my parents nor talk to them.

My dad, on the other hand, is also angry. My family is expecting my husband to come in so that they can settle, but I know my dad will say so many things to my husband that will worsen the situation. My dad and siblings see nothing wrong with what my father did. My dad is saying no matter what, my husband would have obeyed him and now they’re all saying my husband is too hard and malicious.

Now, I’m pregnant but my husband is threatening to walk away from our marriage if my family does not steer clear from his family. I want peace but my husband is adamant and has said that until my family respects him. He said he married me to take me out of the family and not into the family, and he won’t be controlled as a grown man who took out money to go and marry. He says that my dad is domineering and controlling so if he keeps being close to my family, my dad will want to continue to control him and even try to decide for us. My husband is not someone who wants to be controlled. On the other hand, my family is so bitter that my husband hasn’t come to the family house since that incident.

Please what do I do as I love my husband and I love my family? I don’t want anything to happen to my marriage because of this. This has been the only source of misunderstanding ever since we got married and I don’t wish for my family to see my husband as a bad person and abandon me completely. What do I do to save my marriage, my husband, and my family?