Sexual intimacy is the combination of a physical act of sex and the associated emotional closeness between partners.
It is an integral part of marital bliss. It strengthens the connection between couples. However, when it dwindles, it affects marriages negatively causing separation and divorce.
Research has shown that sexual intimacy begins from the way partners relate with each other and couples who are good friends have greater marital satisfaction.
Meanwhile, several daily simple gestures help to foster physical intimacy which translates to sexual attraction. Couples need to understand themselves and create an atmosphere for the bonding to occur.
Sharing her view on the issue with PUNCHng, a bank worker, Mrs Funke Medeludo, said activities surrounding the home, made couples lose sexual feelings quickly. She said that misunderstanding, lack of communication, job and career stress, and caring for kids could shift the couple’s attention from each other.
She added that dissatisfaction with one’s partner’s sexual performance, baby arrival or when trying to conceive could contribute to the decrease in sexual connection. She stated:
“Lack of communication and misunderstanding is a big issue. It could create a large gap that will affect the connection. Before I got pregnant, I wasn’t interested in lovemaking anymore because it was becoming mechanical and there was no result.
When the baby came, I started showering love on my child. Later, through counselling, I learnt to adjust and create time for my husband even when I’m busy.”
She noted that couples must try to balance other aspects of their lives so that it doesn’t affect the sexual aspect and deny them sexual duties which could sever the marriage.
She further said it was vital to seek counselling to resolve certain marital issues. Medeludo said,
“Reuniting feelings is not far-fetched, it’s in the little things we do. Couples should learn to adjust in areas affecting their marriage. Communicate often and try to balance things to prevent infidelity.”
On her part, a businesswoman and mother, Mrs Ruth Kolawole, said that the issue of sexual intimacy cannot be over-emphasised in marriage because of its ability to destroy the union if not well managed.
She noted that the inability to appropriately study one’s partner or when partners stop expressing certain gestures and care for each other could reduce sexual feelings. Kolawole said,
“I make sure I study my husband and know what he likes. When I do what satisfies him, it makes him more attracted to me. Being too busy or giving excuses to your partner will make them begin to lose interest.
Lovemaking is an integral part of marriage and it’s meant to be enjoyed but when partners let other things take the time for it, it causes the marriage to develop hitches here and there.”
The businesswoman stated that couples should always create time to communicate, study, understand themselves, and learn lovemaking to foster the nuptial bond. She added that one’s partner should be a top priority to seal any loophole or external attractions. She stated further:
“Couples must create time for themselves and understand each other. This is so that when one partner is unavailable, there will be adequate communication and knowledge of the situation. Childhood traumas could also affect couples’ sex life; they must discuss it and seek therapy/counselling to deal with such issues.”
A civil servant, Mr Fafowora Olasoji, said that when he noticed a disconnection from his wife, he studied her mood and tried to communicate with her especially when stressed or worried about something.