Dear MIMsters: Is He Genuine or Is Only After Securing a Citizenship?

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m a 26 year old south African woman who needs to whether this guy is genuine or wants citizenship.

A few years ago, I got into an arranged engagement while I was involved in another relationship. It was a long distance relationship and we only meet once before I got married. We always communicated on phone.

I never had the guts to tell him, Chike, so I just stopped communicating with him. My parents unaware of my relationship arranged for me to get married to one of my father’s business associates. Being 21 then, I was in no position to refuse, so we went ahead with the marriage.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Something Quite Strange About My Marriage Has Brought Me to this Conclusion

After 2 years of loveless marriage, my mom finally got me out of it then went back home. A while later, I started communicating with my ex-boyfriend who is a Nigerian. I had taken off my ring and hid it in my purse and forgot about it.

When we were making a purchase one day, I asked him to take money out of my purse, then he saw the ring. He got very angry and disappointed which is understandable. We spoke about it,  he forgave me and we moved on. A year later we fought and separated.

Last year, I met yet another guy, Nnamdi, who comes from the same area where my Chike, my Nigerian ex comes from. We started going out. One day, he invited me to have dinner at his place. Upon my arrival, I realised it’s the same complex where the Nigerian lives.

I opened up to Nnamdi and he told me that he is close friends with Chike. They even attend the same church. I entered the building with Nnamdi and who did I meet at the elevator? Chike and some of his friends who know me very well.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Who Should I Give a Chance? Wale or Kola?

It was so embarrassing for me and they all looked at me with disgust. Nnamdi was embarrassed. I had to stop seeing and communicating with him.

Later Chike and I made up and got back together. Everything was fine and he even took me to his pastor whom he regards as his parents. Until I realised that one of those times we broke up, he was involved with my cousin and he didn’t know it. My cousin also didn’t know him. I don’t blame either of them. We took another break after that incident.

Recently, I met another guy on Facebook, this time, a South African and we started talking. He opened up to me about a situation they have in their church which was related to my profession. He invited me to their church to meet the Shepherd so I could give them my professional advice.

It turned out that it is the same church both Chike and Nnamdi attend.

Upon my arrival, I was so embarrassed due to the fact that members of the church and the pastor already know me as Chike’s woman. I couldn’t explain why I was there so we just went straight to the Shepherd. They thought this South African guy, Bongani, wanted to introduce me as his partner which wasn’t the case.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: He’s a Great Guy But Why Am I so Bored?

Three weeks later, the Nigerian guy called me and said he wants me back. He told me that even though I have embarrassed and hurt him, he wants to take our relationship to the next level.

MIMsters, I feel very lost as I don’t know if this guy truly loves me or just wants to use me to get a citizenship. I’m very confused. I love him but I don’t want to fall a victim and become a statistics of women who are used by non-citizens to get citizenship.

Please help me, should I give it a chance?