Dear Mimsters: I Accepted Her Offer of Help… Now It is Threatening My Marriage
Dear Mimsters, I need your advice on this pressing issue that is threatening the peace of my home..
My mother is late and I delivered my 2nd child a month ago, 3 weeks early. My auntie who helps take care of me lives in another city so could not come until a week after delivery, so my late mother’s good friend offered to help 2 months b4 I delivered, since hubby was out of town and we were grateful.
After my auntie came, we were expecting my mum’s friend to leave and maybe return later but it doesn’t look like she is going anytime soon. Meanwhile, she has a 12-year-old son that she needs to attend to and we have received reports of the little boy misbehaving, stealing and buying cigarette and so on.
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My husband and I are not happy about the situation, because we feel she needs to go take care of her son. So now she goes home on weekends and returns Monday morning. To worsen the situation she does things we don’t like, ties only wrapper the house, will not bath till evening, likes sleeping on the sofa, talks anyhow to our 2yr old who barely understands this crazy world. She has a room but prefers to sleep in the living room, in fact this is causing small small fight between my hubby and I.
My auntie tried to talk to her nicely and told her she is traveling with. Yo won’t believe my mum’s friend told her not to worry, that she will go with us.
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This is a 52-year-old woman who has a child. I get it that my mother was very good to her when she was alive so I suspect she is just reciprocating the gesture but I need my space! Seriously I am not happy in my own house, we don’t want it to seem as if we are ungrateful but she is just becoming a pain in the neck.
Worst of it is when my auntie playfully told her that she wish she wasn’t so busy so she could move in and help me with the kids, and my mum’s friend told her not to worry cos she is around. It looks like she has come to stay permanently.
Please any ideas on how to nicely kick her out of my family home without hurting her feelings? ????????????????
You and your husband should have a sit-down tet a teh with her, explain your position with the whole thing to her and arrange some cash, food stuff etc for her and tell her nicely that it’s time to say goodbye. She needs to go take care of her child that your auntie is here now and no extra hand is needed anymore. If you have to be blunt, please be for general peace. Some issues needs a lot of bluntness to be resolved biko.
u need wisdom n patience
Sit her down and tell her but please compensate her well afterwards.
Its simple o, just buy enough things for her and sit her down with hubby. Appreciate her very very well in fact, exaggerate it then top it up with cash and tell her you’ve made arrangements for her to leave the next day and that you will call her if you need anything. That’s all