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Dear MIMsters: My Story Is A Pathetic One And I Need A Way Out

Dear MIMsters: My Story Is A Pathetic One And I Need A Way Out

My story is pathetic but I need a way out.

My husband and I courted for 10 years but I didn’t know he was a player until I got married to him in 2007. Though his colleagues told me he was a player, I didn’t believe it because he appeared humble, responsible and shy.

He was squatting when I met him and the one who deflowered me and put me under an oath (blood covenant) while we are courting.

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I dreamt that he had a child out of wedlock, I confronted him about the dream because my dream usually comes to pass, he confessed it was true but he did not tell me the story that surrounded the birth of the baby.

Unfortunately and shockingly, it was his father’s wife who gave birth to the child for him. I did not marry my husband for love but I accepted to marry him on the ground of ‘God Says’. I met him when I was 18.

He deflowered me with force when I was 24 and I got pregnant. I was already a graduate while he was rusticated from school and he was forced to change institution. He refused to be a father so, he took me to a hospital where I had an abortion. It was not properly done so, it caused me problems for 3 years before it was corrected.

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The union produced a beautiful daughter.

3 weeks after our wedding, the numbers of ladies that got pregnant kept increasing. My husband makes it a habit to cry and beg me until I forgive. He started sleeping out, bringing different ladies home each time I go to work, drinks, uses my ATM card to withdraw at will without letting me know. It was when I wanted to open a store that I discovered. I confronted him but he didn’t deny it.

To cut the long story short, last year April, he brought a lady home whom he claimed to be his sister and needed a place to stay while doing her National Youth Service Corp in Lagos.

Unfortunately, in May last year, the secret was revealed by one of his sisters, that the lady was my husband mistress. Before then, my husband had stopped me from cooking, preferring to hangout with the lady. They both succeeded in diverting my daughter’s mind away from me.

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Whatever she does is right before my husband. As if that wasn’t enough, he went to court and filed for divorce. He stopped paying the house rent so, though he still pays his daughter’s school fees. My family want me to relocate as soon as possible in order to forget the emotional trauma.

My question is: do I need to inform him before I leave with my daughter after all what he has made me to suffer? I need a way out

View Comments (11)
  • Here is the truth am going to be blunt with u but not intended to hurt you. Do not be offended for what am about to say. You saw the signs from the very beginning but you just didn’t want to let go. This wasn’t a matter of God says but the fact that you didn’t want to let go. God will not give us something that will cause problems for us in future my dear. He had a child out of wedlock I don’t hold that against him. He deflowered you @ 18 that’s why you didn’t want to let go bcos u believe that whoever deflowered u r suppose to get married to him. In the real world it doesn’t work that way. And you also stated that you didn’t marry him bcos of love wow. Wow. Now here is the thing, he didn’t confront you before he filed for divorce so do not tell him your plans otherwise you are not going to see your daughter again. Be wise and smart. Take your child and leave immediately. If you let him know he will take you by surprise and if you drag it with him you are in trouble. That’s all I have to say. Are you telling me that you don’t know all ur husband’s sisters? Really? For even impregnating his wife there is a curse on his head. If you knew before u guys got married that’s whn you shld hv taken a walk. You did not marry him bcos of love but bcos God says that’s whr we get it wrong. God will know see wht will destroy you and tell you to venture into it. Not possible. So, in all said and done tk him by surprise. Leave with ur daughter and don’t tell him. I arrest my case.

  • Are u seriously stillaskingforadvice at this stage when shld have ended this sham of a relationship u call marriage. When will women realize u also the power to say no to bullshitin relationships. I wish u well.

  • Run for your dear life un-noticed. Dont ever capitalize on God says alone cos you are to live with so becareful and watchful

  • After carefully reading the story, I conclude that the above comments are very reasonable and should be applied ASAP. For those who are yet to tie the knot, I hope you think twice before you make that ever lasting marital vow. I don’t at all encourage Divorce but when there is threat to life it seems to be the only alternative left. If you must marry, do it for all the right reasons. I personally believe a whole lot of things can be avoided when armed with the right information on all issues. Before contemplating marriage, first discover who you are and what you want from life. Once this is ascertained choosing a spouse wouldn’t be an up hill task. Why? Because it would be clear who would be making the journey with you. Its also important to be spiritual too but never over look other areas of importance like morals, attitude, compartibility etc. “TO BE AFORE WARNED IS TO BE AFORE ARMED”…

  • pls run with yhur daughter. tell him nothing. take yhur valuables including yhur debit card n disappear quickly. and in future even if he comes begging, NEVER accept him back. he will only hurt yhu more

  • Please go with your daughter because this man that impregnated his father’s wife,rape u, can abuse his own daughter.

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