Dear moms I really need your advice on how to handle my mother who is wicked and jealous of me
As I’m typing I’m crying my heart out. I’m in my late 20s, a wife and a mother of two. My oldest is 2 years and my youngest, 3 months.
My mother left my sister and I when we were around my kids’ age. I was a 3 months old baby. I’ve always looked at my 3 months-old baby and I’ve asked myself how can my mom leave me at that age?
She left us with my granny and lied to her saying she’ll be back to pick us up but my mom never showed up. My dad was in Germany at the time. We never heard from our mom again but we heard she was in the US.
Finally, she visited and brought us to the US to live with her and her husband. I met my mom when I was a teenager. My sister and I moved in with her when were 21 and 19 respectively, here in the US.
Things got really rough. My sister and I would clean public toilets from morning till evening and when we get paid, my mom would take the money and give it to her husband and even uses our money to buy him a car.
She gets angry when we eat the food at the house meanwhile, my sister and I were the ones paying for the food (groceries). I got tired and started complaining. My mom got mad and kicked me and my sister out of her house.
We were here in the US for only less than a year and we didn’t know anyone. We ended up sleeping outside with some Mexicans (thank God nobody raped us). She even took our green cards from us saying we should go back to Ghana. She never looked for us. She never said she was sorry. But I forgave her.
She came to my life again and now telling bad things about me to my MIL. She told my MIL that I’m a bad person and that I’m lazy. She called me names. Said so many negative things about me.
My MIL was shocked that my own mom would say such things about me to her. She was expecting my MIL to treat me bad and tell her son to leave me but to God Be The Glory, things turned out the other way round. I cried when my MIL told me. She prayed with me and said she got my back and I love her my MIL for that. My husband is the only child.
Now, because my MIL didn’t listen to her she is now telling me bad things about her. She is well known as “the mother who says bad things about her kids” here in my state. A lot of people think my MIL is my mom because of how she treats me.
There are some great MILs out there. I thank God for mine. At least I have a mother who loves me. My mom is also a jealous woman, who’s competitive and wants everything for herself. She always brings me down when I’m happy and even told me once that I was ugly. Her words can kill.
How can my own mother treat me this way? She kicked me out of her house, came back to my life, and now, she wants to destroy my marriage. It’s like she doesn’t want to wish me well.
I loved my mom even when I didn’t know who she was but she hates me and my sister so much that she doesn’t want us to be happy. I’m so scared of her right now. How do I cope with or handle a mum like that?